SHE AIN'T LIKE A SISTER NO MORE

Chapter 34 ~ "What's happening?"

JEN

My legs won't move. They're planted to the ground, now shaking so bad that I know they'll collapse from beneath me any second.
"Come on Jen..." Chase whispers, his eyes filling with sympathy as his arm wraps around my shoulders.
I want to ask what's going on, but nothing will come out of my mouth.
I feel my feet disappear from beneath me, the cool night air hitting me, but barely making an impact on my already stone cold body.
"J?" It's all I can manage as I feel myself placed on a seat, material draped over me and a tightening around my body of some sort.
Hearing a couple of loud bangs, I sink down into what I eventually decide is the seat of a car.
"Jen?" I hear faintly. "He asked for you..."
Again, I want to react, but it's a struggle. Realizing that if he's asked for me, he's obviously talking, I can eventually get a couple of words out.
"What's happening?" It comes out shaky, and I'm not even sure if Chase will understand.
"We were all at the club...he organized your party...he told you it was tomorrow, but...when you guys didn't show up, I got in the car to see what was going on...he wasn't answering his phone...there was an accident Jen..." He trails off quietly.
"What?" I ask, having trouble taking it all in.
"I saw his car...it's fucked Jen...they got him out though, and he was holding my hand..."
Tears fall from my eyes as I watch Chase fight to hold his in.
"He only said your name...they put him in the ambulance, and now...Jen, he didn't look good..."
Fuck! No no no!!!
Pulling up to the hospital, my body is suddenly awakened, with the intense need to see him, to hold him, and tell him he's going to be okay.
I don't even fuckin' know what state he's in, but I can't think the worst right now.
He's been there for me when I've needed him, so many times and now it's my turn to be there for him.
Climbing from the car, Chase grabs his jacket from the backseat and helps me put it on. Placing his arm over my shoulder, he guides me through the car park into the hospital emergency ward.
With my hands shoved deep in the pockets of the long jacket, we quickly find the information desk.
"We need to see Justin Bieber please." Chase states, his voice shaky.
"And you are?" The 40-something year old woman behind the desk asks with her eyebrows raised.
"His brother." Chase replies simply.
"And you?" She asks, turning her snobby face towards me.
My mouth opens, to tell her, but Chase cuts me off, stating "sister" with a tiny pinch to my waist.
I nod once, still dazed and confused.
I'm sure this is a nightmare. Like the many I've had before of my Dad leaving me.
I refuse to admit this is real life. Soon I'll wake up to Justin's warm body, his soft lips smothering me with kisses all over, and whispering "I love you" over and over.
I feel the tears start falling down my cheeks harder now, as I bury my top half within Chase's jacket, my bare legs still shaky in my heels. I must look like absolute trash right now, but I don't even care.
The woman behind the desk merely nods before pressing a button below her desk and signalling for us to enter.
"He's in surgery...you can't go in right now, but there will be a doctor there to answer your questions." she states.
Surgery?!
Chase drags me through the busy hallways, until we stop in front of the operating rooms, and Chase sits me down in a chair.
"I'll find a doctor Jen, stay here..."
I nod slowly, struggling so hard to understand the words coming out of his mouth.
I just want to hold Justin. Is that too much to ask?!
Hearing an alarm bell go off, I stand from my seat and walk to the door with the flashing red light above it. The closer I get, the more I realize how much pain I'm in. Suddenly I'm gasping for air as I hold myself against the wall, but I can feel him.
He's close...
I get shoved out of the way as Doctors and nurses rush through the double doors, and I hear the words "punctured lung". Peeking through the small glass window, I see him. But he's not him. He's not my J that I only saw yesterday morning when he dropped me at school. He's not my J that made sweet passionate love to me just days ago...
Without even thinking, I'm through the doors, and beside his bed.
I can hear screaming in the background, and a child crying, but all I can see is him. Wires spilling from his body, which is battered and bruised all over. His neck is in a brace, and he's surrounded by machines, beeping, pumping and alarm sounds filling the room. But nothing can cover up the screaming and crying I hear. It is louder than anything else, and I fight the need to block my ears.
Suddenly he's disappearing, as doors get slammed in my face and I'm pushed against a human barrier.
"Fuck Jen...ssshhh!!"
The sounds have definitely followed me from the room.
"Stop Jen..." Chase growls, his hands tight around the tops of my arms.
I turn to him, before collapsing to the ground, and suddenly it's quiet.
Peaceful, aside from Chase's panicked "Jen? Jen!!" that I hear from beside me.
From the depths of the darkness that have sucked me in, I suddenly realise there were no children crying. They were my cries of pain...They were my desperate screams.