PROMISE

ONE: Fond Memories

AMANDA

I WAS ECSTATIC. For the first time in a really long time l was looking forward to something that was important. To me at least. The excitement at the prospect of what came next was like a high I couldn't get enough of.

The adrenaline pumping in my body got rid of all the nervousness l should have been feeling. Moving forward l knew l had found my soul purpose.

Something other than the constant pain in my heart that never seemed to go away. It was amazing.

"Are you sure that is everything honey? Maybe you should double check in case you left something really important."

My mother's rambling pulled me from my jumbled thoughts to the task at hand. We had packed the last of my things into my car a few minutes ago.

"I'll head inside to make extra sure everything was packed for your move. We wouldn't want you leaving something you may really need..." I grabbed her slightly shaky hands to still her animated movement. My mother was panicking and it was making me nervous.

I understood her anxiety more than anything. This was big and was bound to happen sooner than later. Mothers tended to hog their kids expecting them not to grow up. Or leave them at some point. But it was inevitable. But it also wasn't forever.

"Mom stop. Just take a deep breath and try to calm down. I already checked twice. I have everything..."

"Lets check one more time." I swallowed back the tears threatening to overwhelm me.

My mum didn't possess that much strength as tears fell unbidden down her cheeks.

"If you start crying then l won't be able to leave." I smiled.

"I'm sorry. God why does this have to be so hard? Is it so wrong of me to want to lock you up in the storeroom for all eternity." She said through her tears. A few of mine fell from my eyes and l pulled her for a massive hug.

"No it's not wrong but we knew this day was going to come eventually." I said trying to comfort both of us. Leaving her behind was hard even for me too.

I still remembered the day l received an email from one of the biggest hospitals in Pretoria.

It had been a few months prior to that when l sent an application to intern there. I had nearly given up hope of ever joining the hospital. Now a few months later l was on my way to  intern as an assistant surgeon. It was surreal.

Never in my wildest dreams would l have imagined such a thing. To be fair to my mum, everything was happening too fast even for my taste. I had graduated from university that same year and already had a job. No wonder my mother was freaking out. She wanted more time. As did I to be honest but I needed this.

I needed to be away from the constant reminder of my past. Every inch of this place was a memory I once shared with the person who abondoned me. It was heartbreaking.

I hated leaving her as much as she did. It made me feel terrible. Parents had a way of making you feel guilty for doing everything they set you out to do and living up to their expectations. Here I was, landing an ideal career she obviously wanted for me yet my mother still found a way to make me feel shitty about it. Intentional or otherwise, it worked. I called it their superpower.