My Dirty Sinner

Chapter 38: Plagues My Mind

☆Soul☆

I hated drivin' away. What Celine was sayin' plagued my mind the entire ride to Austin. Should I go against Gus? No. Even if I wanted to, which I do, I couldn't because I had given my word.

So what did she really expect me to do? I tried to get him to let me outta my word, but he said no! So I was leavin' my heart with her. It was hers, and I didn't need it. I never really had much use for it anyhow. 

The first couple weeks were torture. I wan'ed to go back as soon as I arrived. The further away from her I got, the more I was fuckin' angry at Gus. Who is he to tell me I can't have her? He fuckin' used my word against me, knowin' full well I was fightin' what I was feelin', that I'd never have given it as soon as I accepted she was mine.

So, I spent a lot a time at the beginin', goin' to the underground cage and fightin'. I needed somewhere I could let out some anger and frustration, and this was the best place.

Normally I'd fuck a DSW, or some random woman that comes to the club and 'Le salon de la base's. You'd be surprised how many women come in here, but they purposely come in here for us, and I could really do with some aggressive sex. Something I could control.

But I pick one, and when it comes down to it, I just can't. I get more fuckin' frustrated and end up back at the cage. At least there I can maim some devil's. I just wasn't allowed to kill them in the cage. That's the rules. I didn't have any fuckers to take my fury out on otherwise.

The last guy was already dead 'n' buried for his crimes. Jimmy wasn't 'here to be my punchin' bag, and Blaze was gettin' fed up with me.

Celine called when she finally went and had the rebreaks done. It took her a week to pluck up the courage. Gus went with her, and Doc knocked her out to do it all. She barely felt any pain. I hated that I wasn't there, and Doc didn't even ask my permission! He doesn't need it with Gus there, I suppose. She now had casts on, and luckily, her collarbone had already healed really well.

I didn't hear anythin' more after that. The times Blaze went home, it was both a blessin' and a curse.

A blessin' coz, while he wasn't here, I no longer had a voice of reason or a wind up on my case. I did what I wan'ed and fuck any consequences.

I riled up the Devil's a bit more than I should have thought, and they retaliated by tryin' ta take ova 'Le salon de la baise! Fucking idiots.

They came in, guns goin' off left and right. Bats swingin' everywhere.

We managed to get them out, and they ended up with more casualties than they bargained for. All the Sinners got were grazes or a cut-up face from being hit.

We retaliated, of course. Went after one of their bars round the corner. And we're a take, or die tryin' bunch, not the run scared type, so we got that signed over, then we sold it for top dollar.

It's also a curse, coz every time Blaze did come back, I'd be itchin' to ask about her. It was literally driving me insane! I'd drink, work on other bikes, fight, get stoned, and eventually… woman.

I couldn't bring myself to fuck them. I was always comparin' them to her.

None of them have a smart mouth like her. Or the same color brown, soul-consuming eyes. They don't have her long lean legs, trim waist, and perfectly perky tits.

I couldn't even find one that was an exact match in hair color. They were either too dark or too light, too ping or short, and didn't have the curl at the end.

No spark ignites between us, makin' me want to throw her down and please her and not get off myself.

They were just whore's with dark hair.
None of them could compare to my Tiny.