My Dirty Sinner

New Chapter 141: Broken Man

☆Soul☆

"Tiny!" I exclaim as she falls into my arms. "Doc! Wha's 'appenin'?" 

"Fuck! Lay 'er down!" He snaps. So I lay her down and he pushes me out of the way as he checks her over. After a few tense minutes of me pacin', he sighs and falls into the chair beside the bed. 

"Well?" I snap.

"She passed out from the overload of memories, 'n' all the pain, fear, love, hate. Every emotion over the course a the time she forgot, she jus' experienced, 'n' it 'it 'er all at once." He puts his head in his hands. "It's like the last few times, except this was the most promisin', as this is the most she was more 'erself 'n' lucid." He says in defeat. 

"Ya mean she could slip back inta -"

"Yeah. Le's 'ope 'er mind can take the betrayal she feels, 'n' that she'll wake up again tamorra!" Doc snaps angrily. He wants her awake almost as much as I do. 

"No! No! Noooooo! 'Aven't I fuckin' suffered enough? Eight weeks is enough!" I shout as I fall to my knees and slam my fists into the floor. Watchin' these babies grow inside her, seein' them when I know she can't, it's all taken its toll on me. She can't fall back into a deep sleep again, I can't take it.

How am I supposed to survive this torture? Every few weeks this 'appens! I wan'ed my woman, my heart and soul, back in my arms, happy, excited, and in love wi' me. But no! 

I end up goin' into the bathroom and lockin' the door be'ind me. I just need time to find my strength and will once again, 'cause every minute Tiny was unconscious I felt my soul die a little bit more, and I thought she 'ad come back to me. Fuck! Why did I 'ave to get a taste of her again, only to be tortured with her fallin' back into a coma?

I splash some water on my face, willin' myself to go back out there and be strong again. She needs me. It's the only thing that keeps me goin'. So, when I feel I won't go psycho on Doc, like last time, I open the bathroom door and the sight before me 'as me grittin' my teeth and snarlin'. 

What the fuck does Gus think he's doin' talkin' to my woman. The fuckin' asshole who tried to destroy everythin' we were, 'ad the gall to talk to my Tiny without my permission. He chose the wrong day to do this. 

With a howl of rage, I attack the man, crashin' to the floor with him. I land punch after punch to his face as I snarl, "Ya think you can make 'er leave me forever, you fuckin' cunt?" Punch after punch and he's barely fightin' back. "Ya can't trick 'er anymore! So what the fuck are ya doin' in 'ere!? What ya sayin' to 'er!? I won't let ya poison 'er against me again!" I stand over him and pull my gun out, pointin' it in his face, "Ya don't deserve ta live. Why should I let ya live, when she lays there barely alive!?" I snarl, and he looks up at me miserably.

"I'm so fuckin' sorry." He starts. "I was wrong, 'n' I di'n't wanna admit it, but I miss 'er. I love this woman like she's my own. She is mine, 'n' the thought that I could protect 'er if she left.. it clouded my judgement. I never wan'ed this to 'appen to 'er. It's been eatin' me alive fightin' myself so I could say I was right. I know I was wrong. I was wrong. I'm sorry." 

"So what? I should feel sorry for ya? All 'cause ya feelin' a little bit a guilt? Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" I snarl feelin' feral, as emotions that I've tried to keep at bay, the ones I just quelled into the back of my mind again, take over, fillin' me with a mix of guilt and sorrow until it feels as though I'm drownin' and can't breathe. 

I fall to my knees as the tsunami of emotions that I 'aven't let myself feel 'its me all at once. I don't care 'ow strong you think you are, when your whole world comes crashin' down, even the biggest man can't 'old back the pain and sorrow. Tears fall, as Gus looks at me in shock. He, along with Surge and the others that came to see what was goin' on, finally see the broken man I've become over the last eight weeks. This is what 'appens when a man loses his reason for livin'.