My Dirty Sinner

Chapter 14: Jimmy's Big Mouth

☆Soul☆

I see her peekin' at me through the winda, and she thinks I can't see her sittin' there, but the little lamp she left on be'ind her highlights her silhouette.

I find I both love and hate it. I love that I'm obviously havin' an effect on her, but hate that I can't seem to get her outta my head, and what she's doin' ain't helpin'. Women like her, don't fuck men like me.

I don't mean that harshly, I just mean that I have some aggressive tendencies. Sexually aggressive tendencies, and with the shit, she's been through… I can't even fuck this woman outta my head. So I'm fucked!

I'm sure that's all my infatuation is about. I'm callin' her mine, coz she's the forbidden fruit. The one thing I wanna sink into, the one I wanna have chokin' on my cock, and I fuckin' can't! Coz for some reason, Bossman has fuckin' taken her in and he'd kill me for sure. That's the other excuse I'm usin' anyway. And she's the kinda woman that fall's in love, I'm sure, and that shit ain't for me.

If it wasn't for him, I would try my luck, or she would be fukin' off somewhere that wasn't here, and I'd not have the temptation of havin' her dangled in front of me like a carrot.

Once everythin' is unloaded and set up, we head inside, and I try to push her from my mind. Notice I said try.

I tell Blaze that I gotta go catch dinner with Gus, which he's good with me missin' the beginnin' of Katy-ann's party. Gus, though a semi-retired founder, is forever and always part of the club, so if he asks, or orders... You feel obliged and kinda have to do as he says. Everyone does. Even the Prez.

So I'm sittin' 'avin' a beer, and I made fuckin' sure to sit in one of the booths by the winda, so I can peek out and see her winda. See if she's still watchin' me.

After about the fiftieth time a lookin', I see her and Gus headin' towards the store. I see her lookin' this way, which brings a smile to my face. I wanna get up and folla them, but keep my ass in my seat and turn back to the table with gritted teeth. Fuck this bitch won't get outta my head!

I look up as I take a swig of my beer, and see Blaze is smirkin' at me.

"What you smirkin' at?" I grumble.

"What you lookin' at 'n' smilin' 'bout?" He grins back.

"Nothin'. I ain't smilin'. I don't smile." I say nonchalantly.

"Then why is that like… The hundredth time you've looked out that winda? 'N' I can tell when you're smilin', coz like ya said, ya don't. "

"I've looked out like five times. Just lookin' ova at Gus's place. Debatin' on whether ta cancel.'' I say, makin' up some lame excuse, but his grin gets bigger.

"That's ah'ite. You ain't gotta go, I'll just send Doc. He can check up on all 'er stitches, 'n' anythang that needs replacin' I'm-"

"Don't fuckin' finish that sentence, unless ya wan' a broken jaw!... Fuck! Am I that obvious!?" I growl at him, then drink the last of my beer. He chuckles and looks over to the bar, as Katy-ann has to finish her shift before the party can really start, and he has a drink to finish. I take a cigarette out of the box and light it.

"Naw. I just fuckin' know ya, 'n' no bitch or whore 'as-"

"Don't fuckin' call her that!" I snap. I'm tryin' to figure out why she's affectin' me this way. I don't know her or shit about her, but the more time that passes, I'm sure she's mine. I felt summink the second our eyes connected. I neva thought it would 'appen to me, but she spoke to my soul.

Yesterday I'd have bet my life that no woman would ever get under my skin. Many have tried, but I don't want that. Bein' tied to a woman just ain't me.