Feels Like Home

Alive again

Jake's POV:

I could have gone to her, shown up at her doorstep, pulled her into my arms, and held her tight. But I had to meet her here. This place is the closest thing that I ever had to the idea of home. The truth is, I never really had one, even though I lived in a ton of places because she is my home. The home I have been waiting my whole life for. She is where my heart belongs, the place where my soul resides. She is the most unimaginable source of peace and hope and solace. Mahri makes me believe in myself again. She allows me to be vulnerable and sees me for who I am. She chooses to be with me even though I don't deserve it. I will never be worthy of her affections.

Something tells me that this meeting of souls and minds, this love, this intertwining of her and I, was inevitable and set in motion long before we existed. It has to be that we meet in this cabin in the woods where I was born, where I can start to live again. It is a rebirth of my heart and my dreams for the future. With her, I can have a life full of love, full of family and friends, and one free of fear. I can finally dream about existence without loneliness or hiding.

So, I sent that message, and I knew she would come. I knew that she would run to me, the way that I wanted to run to her.

When I see her on that porch, any dream that I had wished for came true. I suddenly believe in a higher power, in all the higher powers, because she is perfect and there is no way she isn't a miracle to me.

I watch her from the doorway and pause. She is more than I could have dreamed. I am breathless and afraid to move. She is soaked and must be freezing, but she is still the most beautiful, amazing, truly wonderful person to enter my orbit. She is gorgeous with long sable hair falling down her back, hergreen eyes with hold just a hint of grey, she is the perfect size to tuck in under my chin. But it is more than that, she radiates kindness, love, compassion.Without a word, she has this ability to let you know she will fight for you. She is trustworthy and honest in a world of lies and deceit. She brings light to all of the dark corners. There is also something that most people don't know, she is funny. I only laugh when I am with her.

Opening the door, I go to her. Three steps until I am where I want, need, to be. I put my arm on her waist and my entire body feels the warmth of her love. Everything in me lights up being this close to her. My greatest privilege is that the universe gave me this chance to love and protect her. I breathe her in. She smells like gardenias and peonies and all of the pretty things.

She turns and our eyes meet. I see deep love, the same affection that I return to her. I hope she can see all of my heart and soul, my hopes and dreams. We smile. I snake my arms around her waist, bringing her body closer to mine. I can't get close enough to her. We stay like that for a moment, frozen in time.

I never want to let her go, but I need to. I suddenly remember how cold and wet she is. "We should go inside, get you dried off. I have a warm fire and hot coffee." I speak softly, not wanting to break the magic of this moment. Holding her in my arms is exactly where I want to be for all my days and nights. I slowly remove one arm to brush some hair off of her beautiful face. She shudders, almost apologetic, and starts playing with her hair.

"I ran out the door so fast to get here..." she begins. Is she embarrassed about her appearance? This is both unbelievable and unacceptable. "I look..," she continues.

I interrupt with the only words I can think of, though none of them accurately depict the feelings of my heart, "...Like the dream that I have waited an eternity to come true, like the answer to my prayers, like the most beautiful thing I have ever, ever laid eyes on "

She blushes and raises her head to meet my eyes. I hope she knows that I mean every word and that there is so much more that I can't put into words, that I may never be able to put into words.

I invite her in once again. I want to take care of her and to make her feel happy and warm and safe. I remind her that we have all the time in the world to do whatever she wants. We need to go inside. Before I let her go, I pull her in close once more, resting my chin on her head. It fits perfectly as if she were made just for me. Sighing, long, and deep, I feel free, free to love and hope. A smile creeps onto my face and I give a low chuckle. "I'm not exactly free", I whisper softly, "I am completely and utterly at your mercy, though I am glad to be there." I would do anything to make her happy, to keep her safe, to make sure she feels loved and complete and whole, just as she makes me feel.

Before she entered my life these feelings were foreign to me. I thought I had known happiness, love even, but it wasn't until this very moment as I hold her in my arms that I understand all that I have been missing.

I release her reluctantly and direct her into the cabin. As the door shuts behind us, I can feel the fire and the light from inside filling the cabin and warming up all the cold edges. I can feel her do the same to my heart.

I am home, in here, with her. Inside this cabin, where I came into the world, I begin to feel truly alive again.