The Blue Hearted Devil Himself

Too pathetic for my own good

I take his belt tying his hands to the bed I grin "all me" I whisper kiss Downwards his stomach hard as fuck abs. 12 of them. I bite my lip. Licking the sweat off his stomach slowly I blow spit bubbles on his stomach giggling his and constrict he looks like he's ready to tear my head off.

But he has to take it. "I'll be gentle I promise." I smile sweetly "don't be" his deep smoky voice says he doesn't seem nearly as tired as me.  "You hardly are with me." I mutter just be salty "false." He shoots back "you left bruises on my neck wrist and my ass your really gonna try to compete with me and say your gentle with me." I remind him pointing my finger at him. I pull down his bottom lip with my finger "Just sit back and enjoy." I lean forward brushing my noes against his. "like I have much of a choice." He mutter angrily I roll my eyes that "losing control could be the most healthy thing for a person as hard and pent up as you." I whisper softly in his ear.

He bites his lip "wanna bet how healthy that is?" I shift lowering myself back on his cock. "It's usually me pinned to the bed and now it's you since I'm incapable of actually holding you down." I detail I bounce on my feet on his rock hard. Faster than I have the energy for. But I'm having too much fun to stop he's slicked in my cum. But I only go faster moaning wildly.
Practice.

I swallow the spit in my throat he becomes a lot more vocal I arch my back my nipples bouncing faster and harder on top of him.
His eyes disappear I stare helpless at the ceiling as I bounce faster smacking my ass against his thighs.

I cum rolling my hips into him falling forward sleepily disappointed how tired I got. "Here let me" I use all my energy and I sit up tiredly his hands cup my face wiping the spit off my chin with his thumb.

I didn't realize. He kisses me gently. Slowly it's sloppy and messy mouth full of teeth I was drooling on his neck. He digs his fingers in my head "how did you get out?" I ask confused "you can't tie a belt for shit." He replies so the whole
"I-dont-Have-A-choice" was a rouse. False bitch. I nod my head falling fast asleep on top of him legs still wrapped around him still sweaty dick still plugged in me.

I stretch a bit feeling sore in every muscle.
Waking up in the same spot I open my eyes I shift "how long has it been?" I ask he smiles genuinely pulling my hair behind my ear long enough for these to appear he pulls my arm up to the bruises on my wrist I shrug "an hour?" I ask he nods.

"I want a round 4 or something" I whisper his fingers slide up my clit I shudder "your so fucking wet and soft." He whispers he pushes two large fingers inside my pussy. "So tight and wet." He repeats sucking on my ear lobe. "I should just keep you here and fuck you forever." I take his word all to seriously. His grey eyes flutter over my surgery scar.

I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment I don't know why I place my hand over it hiding it like he didn't see it. 

I nod my head "I'm gonna fuck you again"
"yours to fuck." For the last time. Because I need to run for the fucking hills after tonight regardless of how my stupid heart feels. We take hours exploring the wonderlands of each other as if this is something new. In the morning it's eleven Colten asleep I'm sore like sore sore my throat sore my muscles are sore I'm limping badly and not just from my leg.

I open his drawers getting dress in the smallest things he has.

Boy don't I look stupid. His t-shirt I attempted to make into a dress is to long it goes past me knees. The sleeves reach below my elbow. I look like a hobo. With hickies covering my entire frame. I exhale stepping out I pick up my clothes from yesterday there a little sticky I flinch picking it up.

Ahh good times. I lay back down resting my soreness. I assumed I was use to it but I really pushed it last night. I lift my leg with aching muscles on him his hand cups my back pulling my in. I inhale a dark curl falls in my face. I inhale his scent hoping it last. This was it though.

This was break-up sex of a relationship that wasn't anything but sex.

Never something.

 to fucked up to be nothing.

I want it to be more. I always will. It's why I let him treat my badly. Because when you love someone you make excuses for their behavior.  Here I am acting like a pro on it when I've never even been loved It's my downfall no one ever cared about me like this. Ever.

I was a donor child for christ sake my entire existence was to give my organs to someone else.

Someone who deserved to live. But she only got sicker. I feel my noes flare tears sting my eyes I smile the stuff that hurt me when I was child still hurts me now. I swallow some things do never change.

It's sucky to admit I might be like this forever. Forever letting someone control my emotions because I'm obsessed with the thought of being loved.

I'd blame my parents for my issues. I stretch my body feeling the tension still. I roll my shoulders into the pillows.

I should go. Leave without a trace. How mysterious. I wiggle my brows looking a lot my faint reflection in the large window. I sit on the edge standing up I wobble a bit to his dresser my legs are aching with pain but I being brave. I open the dresser suits wow won't I look expensive. I shake my head I'm not touching that thousand dollar suit.

I lean down grabbing black socks I pull them on goes to my knees. Size difference. I grab his boxers and a t-shirt. To run out the door is my best bet so I don't turn around crawling back. I swallow the lump in my throat.

I look at the mirror against the wall I walk backwards against the dresser shaking my head run while you can kitty. My mom use to call me kitty. to make me feel special. Oh boy did I feel special it was like the little attention I got from her as a child made me so happy I did my best to impress her and it wasn't enough it would never be enough just like him and I. We're the same almost I feel as he understands me or at least he makes me feel less terrible about my heart.

In some weird way we never have deep conversations I blurt out shirt from my past and he keeps his past to himself i never asked because I wouldn't wanna pressure him or anyone for that matter but he kisses me and I gush like a flower. We have the best sex and I feel close to someone.

I know that's my downfall love and wanting someone to love me back I know it's probably will get me killed one day especially if I stick around Colten. He's so damn pretty. And I'm so damn pathetic.

I'm willing to risk my own life for someone I love who's never gonna love me back.