The Blue Hearted Devil Himself

3rd Degree

We sat in silence on the drive to Emilianna ballet practice. After last night I couldn't believe I was gonna have sex with him.

I was very horny in my defense. It's been so long. Even when he didn't have a condom I was still gonna do it.

That's how you end up knocked up and a single parent I would know. I put on a black dress today with tights and a black jacket, its fleece on the inside expensive but I modeled it for myself. I straightened my hair this morning too. Emilianna is in the back eating banana bread in her ballet uniform, her round cheeks dipped with pink. She's so pale right now and Colten both are. It's adorable.

I look out the window. It's cold and snowing outside. But I'm pushing off the coffee shop trying to keep my brain busy or it will settle on Colten and I.

We arrived at her dance studio with nothing stopping us. I get out of the car pulling her dance bag on my shoulder. I lift Emilianna up kissing her cheeks "Bye bye" she waves to Colten waves back but he isn't smiling. I get her in and I wait In the lobby longer than I have to. I watch her in class. She looks so happy as they start to stretch the little girls all dressed in pink or black.

"Hopefully she gets your height because a five foot dancer can't be useful." I say entering the car it's a joke of course if Emilianna is short there's nothing wrong with that.

I yawn tired, my mouth a little dry too. He is tired too. I can tell he's drinking coffee. I lift up the coffee cup and I take a sip jerking my head trying not to gag. It's black. I should've expected it. "That's strong."

"It's disgusting." He says quietly, "But affirmative."
"I'm sorry about last night." I say quietly "what are you sorry for?"

"If the apology wasn't enough I'm not exposing myself." I say resting my chin in my hands. "I'm sorry for turning you down and then changing my mind and then turning you down again. That was shitty. Had you behaved that way toward me I would have been severely upset." I ramble out a rushed answer.

Colten parks outside the coffee shop. I caught him staring at my thighs then my lips but he tries to be civil about it and all. I'm quiet and patient. I nod my head slowly and he goes for it if not all the better. He does his big forceful hands are pulling me on his lap. he's kissing down my neck I exhale "it's okay" he whispers nibbling on my jaw I nod my head

"you will always be forgiven." He bites on my jaw "We have 10 minutes to kill." I murmur he smirks "this is a pretty skirt." He traces the outline of my underwear, his finger lifting up my dress to my tights. His underwear is hot . The windows are fogged and my body is covered in hot chills. "It's a dress." I murmur adjusting it a little z

His bottom teeth trace up my throat. "You're too fucking pure for this world." He whispers against my throat. I exhale "you know we're not suppose to be like this with each other" I remind him soaking my fingers in his hair he nods looking so soft and submissive "but it feels fucking good." I rock my hips against his hips feeling him get harder. The bulge in his pants is making my mouth water.

His fingers palm my ass I open my mouth leaning my forehead against nothing he dips his head down and his teeth bite down on my collarbone til a I whimper a soft breathless "fuck"and the phone rings.

"Shit." I sigh "it's a text from Marcus." he informs "Nothing kills the mood like serial killer daddy," I'm still straddling him as he texts back "he's here." He murmurs. His hand cradles only back, fixing my dress himself.

He opens the door carrying me as we get out of the car, sitting me down on the ground.

He grabs his keys and I reach to grab my purse fixing my lipstick.

I take his arm clutching it as we walk to the coffee shop towards the elevator. The seating is upstairs and a frozen yogurt shop is down here.
"Do you have your 3rd degree prepared?" He asks with a mocking tone. He lowers his voice and his body just to reach my ear.

I hum "well perhaps your 3rd degree is next. Seeing as you had such a past before me." His hand grins the back of my head tilting my head "you're not getting an answer out of me." He promises

"Aww that's cute." I reach up patting his cheek gently and I drop my smile.
"Put up a good fight that way you win the battle but you're losing the war."

"I can get anything out of you. It only took me a year and half to get a baby out of you." I retort that he digs his fingers in my scalp. He tugs my hair at the roots. I feel a slight sting and I enjoy it too much. "Trying to get yourself knocked up again?" He asks as we make our way up the elevator.

"Right because why offer stability for my daughter when I can just- no wait I don't think I can get pregnant again. Remember sexually abused at 8 meaning my cervix is no longer viable for a child." I pause remembering what I was told my chances of getting pregnant are slim and yet I still managed to carry a healthy baby during my entire pregnancy. I felt unbelievably grateful. However labor was a bitch but I'm guessing I'm not the exception.

His frown deepens "right" he says a rage filled voice sends chills through the room it's cold all of a sudden in here despite the heater. "However, not explaining the significance of some of your tattoos would be a great start." I barely know anything about him. Well I guess I never asked. He never asked about my past but I ended up telling him regardless.

I trusted him not to judge me but most of the things I told him were out of my control.

I see Marcus sitting up, his eyes looking identical to mine. Coltens arm untangles from mine. He wants the opposite way "where are you going?" I asked, confused, "I'll be over there so you can talk to him in private." Colten explains I feel a bad feeling in my gut but I'm overly nervous. I furrow my brows feeling slightly abandoned. My mouth goes dry. I avoid licking my lips to mess up my lip liner. "Why even come if you're gonna sit in the corner and watch?"

"Do you have any idea how easy it is to over power and shove you into the trunk ?"

"Seeing as it's happened to me twice, yes I do." I cross my arms, his eyes darting to my chest, "relevance?whatever." I exhale, shaking my head.

I walk over to Marcus feeling less strength than I did when Colten was beside me. "Hi," I said. He has a half eaten croissant and a fresh coffee sitting down. "Hi Katerina." He says I lick my lips So I bite my lip "can I get you anything?" a kind waitress asked me to nod "a blueberry scone." I order him to shake his head no. She nods coming right up.

"I'm sure you have questions." He says quietly "you said you wouldn't make a good dad. Did it occur to you that she wouldn't make a good mom?" I wonder why he left me with an unstable drug addiction.

"It did. But I had already screwed up my only brother's relationship and let him believe my kid was his. He was so attached and she was sick. Jessica just wanted to help her so I helped her make you." I snort with anger and frustration un-fucking-believable. Jessica, my mother? Some hell of a parent. I fucked my brothers wife so I thought giving him donor child to take parts and organs from would be a good way to make up for that.

"So you're a crappy fuck up of a brother and I get screwed over in life because you were trying to save your dying daughter not for yourself or for her but your brother!" My voice is louder than I recall when the entire cafe is looking at me. Tears are welling in my eyes and my bottom lip is quivering.

The 'go off yourself' is right on my tongue but I bite it trying to hold my temper in. I should sit here and listen to him explain but the look on his face has me wanting to toss a fucking fist in his face.

I stand up and Coltens by the door already. I shake my head one question in and you're running away crying like a baby Katerina.
get a grip.