SOUR

'just, for you to say you're not the compliment type.'

milli. 

I have a harder time waking up because the bed is so comfortable. I sit up, looking around at the unfamiliar room. Sunwoo's dorm is dark, since the curtains are practically sealed shut.

I look over and his head is resting on the desk, I feel a pang of guilt. He's going to wake up with a sore neck now.

I contemplate whether or not to wake him up, and eventually I decide against it. Instead I grab a pen and write thank you on the paper in front of him.

I silently leave Sunwoo's dorm room and I make my way down the hallway to my own room. When I step inside, Sora is at the mirror doing her makeup. I'm sure I look like a mess.

She grins at me in the reflection. "Someone had a fun night."

"Fun?" I say, and I sit down at my desk to get organized for the formal.

"I won't ask for the details now because I'm heading out, but tell me all about it later. Just know that I'm proud of you, Mills. I knew you would be able to trust him, and even though you were nervous you still did it. And it was fun right?" Sora asks with a smile.

"Yeah... I guess," I say. more lies.

"See? I told you,"

I inhale and I say, "Also, Sunwoo told me to tell you something."

"Oh? Really?" She perks up.

"That he...." I trail off. "Well I don't know if I want to tell you, actually, it feels kind of awkward."

"You can tell me, what's the worst it could be?" Sora asks.

It's pretty bad.

"He said--er, he said that his favorite color is black." I lie.

"Mills you actually scared me for a second," Sora breathes a sigh of relief.

"haha, my jokes are getting good, huh?" I laugh nervously.

"That's so Sunwoo," She says.

"Right," I turn back to my computer, mentally apologizing to him.

The more I think about it the more frightening it is how easily I can lie to my best friend.

"Well thanks, I'll be on my way then!"

I hum as she leaves the room, and I'm left alone in silence. The silence scares me, because it makes me realize how loud my thoughts are.

There's a burning feeling in my chest, as I remember what went down last night. How disappointed Mj was, how he was so close to being furious with me. And of how I was so quiet when he spoke to me like that. I had things I wanted to say. It's not that I'm weak and I can't stand up for myself, the problem is that it just happens in my head.

In my head I argue back, and I make him realize my point of view. But by the time it catches up with me he's gone. He takes my silence as defeat, as if he ripped my voice out of my throat and threw it far away.

I want the love back when we first started dating. The love when there was no expectations because we had just met. When, i'm just not ready was a valid excuse.

I take a deep breath in and out, and I force myself to focus on the tasks I have for leadership. I spend four hours arranging the decoration boards and sending them to get approved by the presidents.

By around 2, I have most everything finalized and I can check it off my list. My phone beeps and I rush to go get it in case It's Mj.

But it's a reminder from myself: beach clean up with pep team!