SOUR

'I'm the love of your life until I make you mad.'

milli.

People really sell short what being cheated on feels like. It's been so normalized by the movies that nobody gets how truly painful it is to be betrayed by someone you said your first 'I love you' to. They don't get how heart wrenching it is to be brought home to his parents house so it can look like he's dating a 'good' girl. And then behind my back his lips are not just for me, but for another girl. It's a similar feeling to when he would lie, but I wouldn't want to expose it or else everything would crumble, so I just sit there. You sit there and stay quiet as he texts people you don't know if they're friends or flings, and he masks it with a smile and a 'you're the only one for me.'

"Hello? Milli?" the first aid student volunteer asks. "It seems like you almost passed out, probably from stress."

I blink, snapping out of my daydream. "Really??" I ask.

"It's common, not really something to worry about. Just drink water and take it easy," he adds.

"Okay," I say.

"Are you her boyfriend?" The volunteer turns to Sunwoo who is standing a few feet away leaning against the wall.

"Uh, no." He answers.

"Oh. Well just make sure she's not alone for today, in case she falls again."

Sunwoo nods and the volunteer packs up his things. We watch him leave and I stand up.

Sunwoo reaches out and grabs my arm.

"I-I'm okay, I feel completely fine now." I tell him.

"You going back up to your room?" He asks. "Or mine?"

"It's alright I can just go back to my place, you don't have to watch over me."

Sunwoo follows me into the elevator and to the door of my room.

"So... bye, I guess." Sunwoo says.

"Yeah," I say.

"Um, call me if you need something."

"Okay."

He nods and walks off awkwardly. I punch in the code to my room and I close the door behind me. On the floor is a small paper note.

I'm sorry I fucked everything up.

- sora

I blink, taking a moment to remember those feelings when I had opened this door. I stick the note in my pocket and I open my computer to try and get some work done. But I can't focus.

I notice that the sheets on my bed are still wrinkled and out of place. I haven't slept in it since.

I throw them in the washing machines down the hallway, and I clean the rest of my dorm room too. I'm restless. I can't sit still in fear that I'll start thinking.

I want to let go of this anger, because I've never felt it this deep before, it's scary. Just when I begin to calm down and get back to my homework, my phone dings.

I'm sorry.

It's from Mj. Yeah, I'm sorry too, that it had to end up this way. I sigh, staring out the window where the sky is bright white with clouds. There's too many hours in a day now. Funny, because at the beginning of the semester I claimed there were too little. There was so many things I wanted to do, so many people to talk to. But now... my motivation has gone down the drain.

I have the most sudden urge to get up, put different clothes on and makeup. So I do. I do it in the emptiness and the silence of my room without a roommate.