SOUR

'Tried so hard to be everything that you liked,'

milli.

I've been stalling for the past three hours. It's dark outside by now and I insisted that Mj and I watch a movie. We're sitting upright, and for the first part of the film he's interested and paying attention to my computer.

But as time goes on and I've run out of tactics to make time for myself to mentally prepare, he starts glancing at me for longer periods of time.

I feel his hand resting against my leg and he taps my skin a few times. I can sense his restlessness and it only makes me more nervous. He has expectations, and I don't think I can fulfill them.

"Hey," he says softly. He tilts my chin so that I look at him. "You're okay."

I nod. I'm not okay.

"Just relax," Mj pushes my laptop to the foot of the bed. "I would never hurt you, you know that right?"

Another nod.

I feel his soft lips on mine, and I wish it could just stay this way. I wish that I was enough for him.

I feel his body moving on top of me, trapping me over the bed where I can't move. It's not that I feel trapped, it's that I wish I wasn't thinking at all--I wish it all came naturally to me.

He lifts my shirt over my head, never taking his eyes off of me and yet I find my gaze at the ceiling.

He doesn't seem to notice how stiff I am, or at least he doesn't mind it. I shiver from the cold of being left in just a bra, or maybe its from the way he looks at me. He doesn't say anything though, no reassurance, nothing.

He moves slowly in the dark, throwing his own shirt across my room. It seems like he's experienced, which makes me feel weak beneath him.

Just when I prepare myself for the worst, for the pain or regret to seep in, there's a knock on the door. Two quick and quiet knocks. I know it's not Sora, because she's at a party. It couldn't be Jacob or Olivia, because they were decorating the lobby for the holidays.

"Wait," I say. My voice comes out breathless, and Mj stops immediately.

"What is it?" He asks. He's not annoyed, but there's something in his voice.

"the door," I say.

"Just ignore it," He lowers his lips onto my neck again.

"No, no it might be important," I say.

"What could be more important than this?"

"Just one second. Please?"

He rolls off of me and lays on my bed. I pick up the blanket off the floor and drape it around my shoulders, crossing it to cover my chest.

When I open the door, hallway light peaks into the dark room, and I feel a burst of hope when I see Sunwoo standing there. He's changed into grey sweatpants now and a simple black t shirt.

His eyes wander from my face to the fabric wrapped around my body and his cheeks flush red.

Sunwoo clears his throat and begins staring at something on my door. Maybe a speck of dust. "There's a fire." He says.

"A what?" I ask, that's not what I thought he was going to say.

"A fire drill."

"Really?" I say with too much excitement.

"Yeah, you should probably head outside," Sunwoo says.

"Okay, thanks!" I say.

He nods and averts his eyes before walking down the hall.