SOUR

'To the holes in my butterfly wings'

sunwoo

Before I leave the dorm room I make sure Milli is still sleeping peacefully. I put a note on my desk telling her I went to class today and that I'd be back. But really I have no intention of attending Mr. Young's again.

The sun is still rising and I'm way earlier than that actual start time, but I have a job to do.

Picking the lock on his classroom door is easy, because Sola and I used to practice in case we ever became spies. I throw my hood over my head though getting caught is really not a concern.

As I shake the bottle of spray paint, I hear a footstep, and I leap off of the chair I was standing on and I scream.

"Calm down!" Kevin turns the lights on. "It's just me."

"Oh." I say. "I wasn't scared."

"So you usually greet people with that scream?"

"Yep."

"Got it." He says and walks closer. "What are you even doing here this early?"

"What are you doing here? You don't even have this class." I say back.

"I was awake all night just walking around campus and I saw you come in here. You're not exactly the most sneaky person you know," Kevin says.

I scoff. "Why were you here all night?"

"Couldn't sleep." Kevin sits down at one of the lecture seats in the first row. "Couldn't stop thinking about Milli."

"She told you already?"

"She told Jacob and Sora, and Jacob told me."

"Ah."

"Aren't you mad?" He asks.

"Of course I'm fucking mad." I say. "I'd spray paint his eyes closed if I could."

"What can we do about it?" He asks.

I glance back at him as I pull down the projector screen on Mr. Young's big white board.

"Mills wants to give up." I say.

"What?? No but-but she can't! We'll help her. Won't we??" Kevin exclaims.

"Look I want to do everything I can to make it right, but right now all I see is the light fading from her eyes and....and I know what that feels like. I'm not going to lose her like this. Milli comes first, and I just want to be with her because it sucks ass to be alone." I tell him. "I'm not giving up, I'm just gonna do all I can for the time being. For her."

Kevin nods. "I understand."

"But hey, if you want to look into the process of filing another thingy knock yourself out while we're gone."

"Gone? What do you mean gone? I mean of course I will but why won't you be here?" He asks.

"I came early to class wearing black clothes and breaking into the door. Isn't it pretty obvious?"

"I guess you always just look like that." Kevin jokes. "Like you're up to something."

I roll my eyes at him and I turn back to the projector screen.

"What are you going to write?" He asks.

"I don't know yet." I say. I stare at the blank canvas, my thoughts empty. I assumed that in the moment I would think of something. Something would just feel natural and I'd slap it on there. But it's blank. There's too much I want to say to him and not enough room. How do I condense that all into one piece of vandalism?