SOUR

how you could be so okay, now that im gone?'

sunwoo.

I'm not nervous.

And yet my knee keeps bouncing as the curtains open and thousands of my peers clap for the school band.

Being around all these people is a nightmare. Especially all these people with school spirit, like that girl I had to talk to outside. I already forgot her name, or maybe she didn't tell me it. Not important either way, but anyways, she made me nauseous.

So why am I here in the first place? I had to have a valid excuse for not being able to meet Sola. She's in town near the school, sight seeing the city with Hyunjae. I know because she texted me, and I texted her back saying I was on my way to orientation and couldn't talk right now—or ever.

It's been a full calendar year since she kissed me at that party. Not like I'm keeping track or anything.

But it's been a full year since something inside me clicked. I figured out what was missing in my life, only to be told I could never have that. That was the one thing I desperately needed, and she was just out of my grasp.

So I'm avoiding her at all costs. They say everything gets better with time, but that's a load of bullshit. Everytime I see an Instagram post or a story I get this much more close to jumping off that bridge.

She broke my heart, and she didn't even know it. But how could I ever blame her? She was my best friend and I was the one expecting too much.

The sound of a drum beat snaps me out of my thoughts. My headspace is a dangerous area. I cant let myself get absorbed in my own thoughts, or else I'll crack, like I did that night.

I just can't think too hard about it, or about anything. Not about Sola, not about my dad re-entering in my life when his company goes bankrupt—and my mom taking him back—and certainly not about this dumb as fuck school full of fake elitist wannabes.

I just have to drink and smoke it all away until I forget.

Who knows when that'll be, but in the mean time I have plenty of online friends and netizens to keep me company.

milli.

Finally, the papers are all stacked up in my hands again. I can catch the second half of orientation!

I gently open the auditorium door and creep inside the rows of velvet covered seats. I scan the room, everything seems to be going according to schedule.

A girl with short choppy hair waves her arm around. I laugh internally, because she doesn't mind attracting attention to herself.

I excuse myself as I weave through a few rows of students, and Sora takes her black purse off the seat next to her.

"Hey best friend." She says. Her voice is slightly scratchy, and she has a confidence around her that makes everyone want to be with her or be her.

I'm lucky enough to call her my bestie. We've known each other since middle school, being the living embodiment of 'opposites attract.'

"Hi," I whisper, sitting down next to her.

"Was there a motorcycle outside?" Sora asks.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "Someone parked it illegally outside this building but what can I do about it?"

"I knew I heard one." She says.

We watch a few more performances before I notice her staring over her shoulder and a few seats to the right of us.

"What's wrong?" I look in that direction.

"Do you know who that is?" She asks. Her voice sounds breathless, so I crane my neck to see who she's referring to.

I scan all the possible people, before I accidentally lock eyes with a boy wearing all black, that Sunwoo character. I quickly turn my attention back in front of me, also because we should be watching orientation respectfully.

"The boy in all black. You checked everyone in right?" Sora looks back at me. "What's his name?"

I hesitate for a long time. I would never lie to her, but I'm tempted to.

"Sunwoo something." I murmur quietly.

"He was the one on the motorcycle right? He came in right after I heard it."

"Yeah," I say briefly, wanting to drop the subject. I don't like being annoyed at people or keeping grudges. And something about that boy makes me feel those mean emotions.

"I think he might be my type," sora says.

I glance at her.

"And not just like hookup type. A real one." She adds.

This takes me by surprise. Sora has never dated anyone. She always says that she would rather spend the night with someone and never see them again, because nobody has ever lived up to her standards.

And not that I blame her, because my friend is drop dead gorgeous. She deserves someone who makes her feel starstruck.

"Really??" I ask. "I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"Me neither." She answers. "Something about him.... I don't really know."

I swallow, because on the one hand I would love to see my best friend in love. On the other hand, does this Sunwoo really deserve it?

"Did you talk to him at all? What was he like?" She asks.

"Um... he was, uh, let's just say we had an exchange." I answer.

"Really? So you know him?" She asks.

"I mean not really."

"But you could know him?"

I furrow my eyebrows, "I mean I guess if I really wanted to, since I'm in the outreach part of leadership, but I don't really think so."

Sora thinks for a while. "Is it at all possible for you to help me? Just keep tabs on him for a while since you're halfway to being friends? And also you naturally make people feel close, and then I have a better shot at meeting him."

"I don't know, Sor, you also attract most people you meet, I don't think you need my help," I whisper back.

"Mills, please? For me?" Sora takes my hand and looks at me with large eyes. "I have a good feeling about him. And you know I don't say that often."

She's right, she doesn't say that often. Well, maybe I'm judging him to quickly.

"Okay," I nod. "No problem."

"Thank you!!" She squeezes my hand.

I take one look at Sunwoo, around the back of sora's head.

He's staring at his phone in his lap, I can see the slightly lit up rectangle. More like glaring at it.

I tsk to myself. I have a bad feeling about him.