Wishing On Dead Stars (BL)

Chapter 5

Tyler

April 11, 1997

Today is Brix' birthday and I am looking forward to seeing Gunther. I know Gunther is not fond of parties but I am still hoping I could see him. Baka ma-inspire ako tapusin yung kanta ko. I tried my luck again on writing a potential song that could make a mark for After Apollo. We tried sending our originals to different production companies and music agencies but they couldn't see how our songs would be a hit.

Pagod na ako mag-cover, tangina, pagod na talaga ako mag-cover ng mga kanta.

Pakiramdam ko photocopy lang kami ng Eraserheads o ng Beetles pero average version.

But ever since Gunther, I found that burn again in my chest and he inspires me to write everything I could come up to.

We were staying at Brix' room when Gunther came but I couldn't look at him in the eye because I want to keep my head on my work. Half of the time, iniisip ko kung may pupuntahan pa ba 'tong pagbabanda ko pero kapag pumalpak ako, I would have proven my Dad right. I cannot let that happen.

Pressured akong makagawa ng hit song para hindi kami magwatak bilang grupo. If After Apollo falls, I am a laughing stock.

Minsan lang ako makapagpahinga, kapag nakikita ko si Gunther. With him, I can cover a hundred songs and I would also love for him to hear my original composition. Tungkol sa kanya ang mga kanta ko, after all.

"Pare, puntahan mo nga si Gunther." Pababa na kami mula sa kwarto ni Brix para tumugtog sa party nang napansin kong nasa banyo pa din si Gunther at nag-alala akong baka kung napaano na siya kaya pinasunod ko si Orson.

"Hala, 5'2 lang yata si Gunther. Baka na flush siya."

"He is 5'6. Shut up. Huwag ka na ngang maloko, puntahan mo!" nakangising umalis si Orson para puntahan si Gunther sa banyo.

It was Kuya Aki who told me that Gunther is 5'6 and damn you all, ipagmamalaki kong 5'6 siya at matangkad lang kayong lahat, hindi siya ganon ka liit.

We covered 'Show Me A Smile' as our first song because I told them it is Gunther's favorite song. Di sila umangal kasi lahat naman sila nagpapalakas kay Gunther bilang favorite niyang Apollo. Lahat halos ng mga kakilala namin, tinatanong ng mga loko-loko kung sino paborito nilang Apollo.

Pumuntos si Brix nang napapayag niya si Jane sa team niya. Alrissa is neutral, pantay daw kami lahat, much to Orson's displease.

Hinanap ko si Gunther sa mga tao habang tumutugtog kami pero di ko siya mahagilap. I just hope he is listening from where he is standing.

Hanggang sa matapos ang buong set ng banda, di ko nakita si Gunther.

I asked around till I saw Andrei, a high school friend. He told me what happened between Gunther and Nick's gang at their table. They really are assholes. Pinuntahan ko si Nick sa table niya pero wala na doon si Gunther. He said Gunther went outside to talk to Jaxon, quoting, "his love of his life" and he is trying to say something dirty that Gunther could do for Jaxon. I fumed in anger. I punched him square on his face then he fell onto the floor. Hawak niya ang pisngi niya habang nakatitig sa'kin sa gulat.

Nagulat din ako sa sarili ko pero walang babastos kay Gunther hanggat nandito ako.

"Take that back!" sinuntok ko siya ng isang ulit. He managed to punch back. The hit stings, but nothing would have hurt more than Gunther hearing those words. Inupuan ko ang tyan niya nang mapahiga siya sa sahig at patuloy ko siyang pinagsusuntok. I want to give him back all those hurtful things he said to Gunther. He be damned, I don't care.