Wishing On Dead Stars (BL)

Chapter 6

Gunther

May 4, 1997

It is May 4 and I used to watch Star Wars the past May 4s. When I was a kid, I spent my May 4s with my Papa. We would watch Star Wars together. Nang mamatay siya sa leukemia, Jaxon accompanied me on my movie marathon. When he left the neighborhood in my first year in college, Kuya Thirdy watched with me. Kaya lang, hindi ko siya kasama manood ngayon. Galit sa akin ngayon si Kuya Thirdy dahil nagiging matigas na raw ang ulo ko.

He wanted to report Nick's friends to the police for harassment when he heard about what happened at the party. I asked him not to.

When Tyler went to this room, pakiramdam ko, nawala lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. He has that power on me.

I missed him a lot.

Ilang araw ko siyang hindi gaano nakausap dahil natatakot akong baka madulas ako at sabihin ko sa kanyang gusto ko siya. Sobra-sobra na kasi 'tong nararamdaman ko, eh. Plus, it is wrong para sa akin na isipin na may meaning ang pag halik niya sa noo ko. Walang ibang ibig sabihin' yon. I realized that after I saw Brix kissing Orson on his cheek teasingly. Apollo boys are touchy to each other because they are not afraid to show their affection. Sabi ko, ah, I was not special. Ginawa lang 'yon ni Tyler dahil sanay siya sa After Apollo makipaglokohan ng ganon at hindi ko alam 'yon. I cannot and must not assume anything from Tyler.

Naiwan ang mga Apollo at si Jane sa kwarto nang umalis si Tyler. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya pumunta o kung iniwan niya ako kaagad. I was hoping he would stay.

Bandang hapon, umalis na sila Brix at hinayaan ko muna ang pinsan kong bumili ng makakain niya. I can manage alone, I said. Wala pa sila Kuya Aki na magbabantay sa akin. I played my VHS tape of Star Wars then somebody knocked on my door. Inabangan ko kung sino ang papasok.

It was Tyler. He came back and he is holding a box of cake. Dala niya din ang isa pang paper bag.

"Do aliens eat cake?"

"Idiot," I muttered. "Food ng mga alien ang cake." He leaned closer. "Bakit ka nagdala ng cake?"

"May the 4th be with you, Gunther." Napailing ako at pinigilan kong mangiti. He really knows how to pull some strings to get my heart beating like this. He also brought the Hyacinth I gave him. "Baka kailangan mo ng kasama kaya dinala ko si Hyacinthus natin."

"Hyacinthus natin?"

"Hyacinthus is our baby. We are his family. Babantayan ka muna niya."

Sinubukan kong pigilan ang mga reaksyon ko. But then, he could still see right through me. Sinamahan niya ako manood ng Star Wars. We ate the cake slices. Oh, goodness, he hasn't watched any of the Star Wars movies yet.

"Huwag mo ko husgahan, okay!? It was boring when I first watched it."

Lumayo ako nang kaunti sa kanya tapos kinain ang cake ko. Natawa siya tapos hinila niya ako palapit. "Pero mananawa ako ngayon sa Star Wars kasi ako na ang kasama mo tuwing May 4. May 4 is Tyler and Gunther day."

I like the sound of Tyler and Gunther day. Kaya lang, baka masanay ako at bigla na lang siyang mawala kagaya ni Jaxon. I asked him if he wants me to change the movie to something tragic cause I remembered that his comfort movies are tragic movies.

"Gunther, parang masyado mo na akong nahuhusgahan, huwag mo na ko tingnan nang ganyan. I watch tragedy kasi gusto ko minsan maramdamang hindi lang ako ang miserable, okay?" ngumuso siya tapos natawa ako sa pag subo niya ng cake.

"Hindi kita hinuhusgahan! I was just curious!"

We finished the first movie of Star Wars then we played a sad movie. We are not watching, inasar niya nalang ako kakapunas ng icing sa pisngi ko. Sabi niya isa raw akong mamon. Kunot na ang noo ko sa inis kaya pinisil niya ang magkabila kong pisngi tapos ngumiti sakin.