Wishing On Dead Stars (BL)

Chapter 7

Tyler

May 6, 1997

Ayokong kinocorner ako sa mga usapan kagaya ng nararamdaman ko. Brix is trying to push me into confessing of liking Gunther. Kung madali ang lahat, I could yell it out loud. Sasabihin kong, yeah, I like Gunther Atienza so much and what about it? Ngayon ko lang naramdaman to. Heck, I do not even know I could still feel this way to anyone. Akala ko bato na 'tong puso ko. Orson knows I never have fallen for anybody before. Small crushes aside, Gunther is the only one who made me feel this way.

Ano ba ang gagawin ko? With Orson, I can tell him how I feel about Gunther because he understands the struggle with his two moms. But with Sion and Brix, natatakot akong maliitin lang nila ang nararamdaman ko. It is not that I don't trust my friends. Sensitive lang talaga ako at gusto ko muna itago 'tong nararamdaman ko.

"Si Gunther, malapit lang talaga ang loob ko sa kanya." Brix let the conversation go when he knew I am already getting pissed. Hindi na siya nagsalita pa, but he suddenly became quiet.

"What happened?" tanong agad ni Sion kay Orson nang pumasok siya sa unit. There is something bothering Orson but he won't tell us. Inabot niya lang sa akin yung tape na pinabibigay ni Gunther nang magkasalubong sila ni Orson sa campus.

After that day, I felt something off with my friends. Even Gunther is not answering my beep messages. Some days, bumabalik ako ng campus para unti-unting kunin ang gamit ko mula sa dorm pabalik sa bahay. I am leaving Kalayaan that was my sanctuary from my Dad.

Ngayong patapos na kami mag college, I have to go back to my Dad's house. I could've gotten my own condo unit like Brix if I just followed what he wanted and quit the band but I won't. l never will.

I am looking at Hyacinthus from my table. Hindi ko muna siya maaalagaan, he has to go back to his other Papa.

Ayokong tinitingnan ang mga aloes ni Sion dahil para dapat kay Jaxon 'yon at ibinigay yon ni Gunther. Dalawang aloe ang ibibigay niya dapat kay Jaxon.

What, are two aloes greater than my Hyacinth?

Orson said it is stupid that I am treating Hyacinthus like our son but I don't care. Pagkatapos ng exams, dadalhin ko si Gunther sa bahay namin sa Tagaytay. That is where I grew as a kid so I am taking him to somewhere I call home. Sinabi ko na din kila Orson na babyahe kami kasama si Gunther kaya nag handa siya ng mga kailangan.

I asked Orson to ask Gunther if he could come with us since he won't talk to me. Hindi niya sinasagot ang kahit alin sa mga tawag ko sa telepono nila sa bahay. I wanted to go to his place but I got busy transferring my things back to Alabang.

Pagkauwi ko sa bahay sa Alabang, nagpasama sa'kin si ate pumunta ng Quad. Wala si Dad sa bahay dahil abala siya sa shift niya sa ospital tapos gusto raw mag destress ng ate ko from med school.

Balak kaming gawing doctor ng tatay namin. My sister is a golden child, sunod siya sa lahat ng gusto ni Dad.

"Maybe Gunther is just busy. Exam week kaya, ikaw lang ang tamad mag-aral, okay?" nang ikwento ko kay ate ang problema ko sa'min ni Gunther, isa lang talaga ang sagot niya. Baka busy si Gunther at wala siyang panahon sa mga bagay na walang sense kagaya ko.

Tumambay kami sa Hard Rock Café at doon ko inakalang nakita ko si Gunther nang mapalingon ako sa ibang direksyon.

"That's Gunther."

"Brother, baka kaka isip mo 'yan kay Gunther. He is starting to show anywhere."

Nope, that was really Gunther. Pumunta kami ni ate sa arcade. Bumili siya ng token tapos itinuro niya sa akin si Brix na nakita niya raw na naglalaro ng Tekken.