Making Dreamland

Twenty Four. Give me a day or two

Harry-

Jeff has just walked away from her table and I'm watching her face for any kind of sign as to if he actually told her the truth and how she feels about it. My initial gut reaction was elation. I was so glad to know I hadn't slept with those girls, then the actual reality set in and I was angry at myself for even putting myself in that situation.

I can't keep doing this. Jeff can't keep doing this. Something has to change. I know I'm part of what needs to change. I watch her face as she exhales a large breath and her eyes catch mine and I can't read her at all. She pulls out her phone and shortly after mine vibrates.

Ava: Jeff told me. I'm still processing. Do you want to come sit with me?
Me: how about we go somewhere private? How about my set trailer?
Ava: ok. You go first. I'll head out 5 min after you.

My heart is in my throat as I stand and walk by her and out of the eating area to head outside to my set trailer. Even though people couldn't hear our conversation, they'd still see our faces and I know it's not hard to read when there's an issue between two people. I don't want any gossip on this set.

As soon as I see her approach, I open the door quickly and she steps in. Closing the door quickly I turn to her and she has such a conflicted look on her face.

"How do you go from such anger and hating you to relief in such a short period of time? Tell me how Harry because I'm struggling." She says.

"How do you feel right now?" I ask.

"Angry. Hurt. Upset. Relieved. Confused. I'm sure I left some out." She says.

"Do you hate me?" I ask her.

"No Harry. As much as I wanted to, I could never hate you. Not in a million years." She looks down at the floor.

"Can I hug you?" I ask.

"Please." She says quickly.

I take two steps towards her to engulf her in my arms. I'm thanking the heavens above that I get to hold her like this again. Tears are already stinging my eyes.

"This is such a mess Harry." She says.

"I know baby. I know." I answer.

"What do you want from me Harry?" She asks quietly.

I pull back from her so that I can look at her. Her eyes are glassed over with tears. Her face is sad and tired. She's still the most beautiful girl in the world to me.

"Harry. What do you want from me? Cause I don't have anything left to give." She says.

"Everything. I'm still figuring all that other stuff out Ava. One thing is for sure though, I do want you. I'm sorry."

"No more apologizing Harry. I know you're sorry. What do we do now?" I ask.

"Tell me what I need to do to earn back your trust and affection again. Tell me and it's yours. I'll do anything."

"I just need some time Harry. I'm so happy you didn't sleep with those girls, but I'm sad you were in that position in the first place. And the drugs are a whole other topic. Can you give me time?" She asks.

"I don't want to, but if that's what it takes to earn your trust and your affection back- I'll do it. Can we be friends and hang out? I miss you." I hug her again.

"Maybe. Give me a few days is all Harry. Let's take a few days and then talk again and see where we're at."

I nod my head at her request and pull her to me for another hug.