Undeniable | Louis Tomlinson

37

I unlocked the door and walked inside, Louis following behind me. Both the girls were gone today. I set my keys on the counter and walked to my bedroom door.

"I'm just gonna change into something more comfortable, I'll be right back." I told Louis who was now sat on the couch.

"Okay." He nodded his head.

I walked into my room and locked the door. I took my clothes off and changed into leggings and a sweater. I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath.

I can't handle this. If it hurts this bad already, how bad is gonna be when he passes? Just the thought of that tears me apart. He deserves better then all this and I could take it away.

I reach into my pillow case and pull out the blade I had hidden there. I pull up my sleeve until my forearm is exposed. I stare at the blade in my hand with teary eyes. I just need it to stop.

I slowly sink the blade into my skin and drag it across to make a cut. Then I did it again and again. And again. Until it went away. Until it all went away. The blood slowly pooled around the fresh wound as I placed the blade back.

"Emery? You okay?" I heard Louis' voice from outside the door.

"I'm fine!" I called back, walking to the door and unlocking it.

"Are you okay? You look like you were crying, love." Louis said as he brought his thumb up to my face and ran his thumb under my eyes.

I closed my eyes at the feeling. His touch made things go away. The world went quiet.

"Just a little upset that's all." I assured him.

I couldn't let him know. I know I promised I'd tell him. I just can't. I don't wanna see the look of disappointment on his face.

"Are you sure?" He asked rubbing my arm to comfort me.

I winced at the gesture, his hand rubbing my cuts. Fuck.

His face flooded with worry as he reclined his hand. His face saddened as he realized what I had done.

He went to grab my arm and I quickly backed away. I didn't need his pity.

"You told me you'd come to me." He said. "You promised."

"I lied, okay?" I crossed my arms. "I don't need your help."

He walked closer to me. "Talk to me."

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Just leave me alone."

"You're not fine," he shook his head stepping closer. "I'm worried about you."

"I am fine! Just go away Louis! I don't wanna talk-" I cried as he grabbed me.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him.

"It's okay," he whispered as he stroked my hair soothingly.

I cried in his arms. I didn't want him to see me like this. He wasn't meant to find out.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"Don't be sorry." He shook his head.

My shoulders shook as cried into his shoulder. His fingers ran through my hair making me feel a little bit better. But I don't think there's anything that will really help any of this better.

"He can't go. I can't do this without him." I sobbed.

His arms wrapped tighter around me.

"It's gonna be hard. But you're so strong. It'll be okay." Louis attempted to make me feel better.

I didn't say anything as I snuggled closer to him. He kissed the side of my face and layed back onto the bed.

We stayed like this for a while before eventually I noticed Louis' breathing slow down. I sat up and saw his eyes closed. I reached down and grabbed the blanket at the end of my bed. I covered us up and layed back down.

***

I wake up to someone brushing my hair from my face. I open my eyes and see Louis smiling at me.

"Hey," He said.

"Hi." I smiled.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as I closed my eyes and snuggled back into his chest.

"Fine." I mumbled.

"Good." He replied, kissing my forehead.

"Louis?" I said.

"Yeah, love?" He answered.

"That morning we fell asleep outside in the rain and you left in a hurry," I recalled. "Where were going?"

I felt him tense beneath me. I knew Zayn had told me it was something Louis didn't like to talk about but he's been here for me through so much, I just want to do the same for him.

"I know Zayn said you don't like to talk about it but-"

"I go to see my sister." He cut me off.

His sister? I never knew he had a sister but there's so much I probably don't know about him since he doesn't talk about himself much.

"You have a sister?" I said.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Why do you keep her a secret? I don't understand." I scrunch my face in confusion sitting up so I could face him.

"Do you remember what I told you that night we were drinking under that tree together?" He asks.

I thought back to that night and the conversation we had had.

"You told me about your girlfriend you had in high school and how Marcus killed her." I remembered.

"Well after that, Marcus still couldn't get me to join. So he used my sister as leverage." He explained. "As long as I work for him, he'll pay for my sister's treatments."

I instantly understood what he meant. His sister has cancer and as long as he continues working for Marcus, he will pay for the treatments. By now though, he would have made enough money to pay for the treatments himself.

"But haven't you made enough money to pay for them yourself by now?" I further asked.

He closed his eyes and sighed before answering my question.

"I've tried. He didn't like that and almost killed my sister before I told him I wouldn't leave." He told me.

I put my hand over my mouth. How could someone do something so sick just to keep one of their gang members?

"I'm so sorry Louis." I said, wrapping my arms around him.

He breathed out a sigh and buried his face into my neck.

"You deserve better." I whispered.

He pulled away slightly, looking me in the eyes sadly.

"She deserves better. Not me." He shook his head.

It made me sad that he thought he didn't deserve a life better than this. He may make bad decisions sometimes and do bad things but he's a good person underneath.

"No. You both deserve better." I said, reaching my hand up to cup his jaw. "You're a good person, Louis."

He leaned in and connected our lips, kissing me softly.