The Death of Me | A mafia story

Bonus Chapter III - Flashback

During the two years when Cara was away...

London, UK.

Cara's POV

I fixed my cardigan, wrapping my arms around myself as I leaned against the doorframe, watching Lilly, nestled between my father's arms as he walked her around the garden, whispering things and pointing around as he talked with her.

Her baby eyes would drift around and then go back up to him, confused but also curious. He would smile, and so would she, making him wrap his arms tighter around her little body. He always does this, giving her a tour through the garden when the weather allows it, speaking and talking for hours sometimes. I could only wonder what type of conversations he has with her.

My lips curved up as I observed them from a distance. The constant tightness unwrapped from over my chest the longer I stood there and witnessed something akin to normal. My life has been all types of messy and these peaceful minutes were like a ray of sunlight breaking through in the midst of a hurricane. This was like a fresh breath of air surging through my lungs after being underwater suffocating for too long.

My head tilted to the side, watching Lilly gurgling and moving in Dad's arms, being her little energetic happy self. He chuckled before he wrapped her tiny body under his own jacket, shielding her from the light breeze that blew by us. She snuggled deeper into his chest, resting her head over his shoulder, bringing her thumb up and placing it inside her mouth, sucking on it as she further relaxed into his big warm embrace.

It calmed my stressed nerves to see her laughing and a bit energetic. She was slightly sick over the past few days, which terrified me beyond measure because I had no clue what to do. I am still learning and discovering, powering through this motherhood and all that it encompasses. It isn't easy, that's for sure, but I wouldn't change it for anything. It's the best thing to ever happen to me. She is the best thing to ever happen to me.

She is my only hope.

She is all I have left of Alex.

I shook my head, shaking the melancholic feelings away before they got the chance to overcome and break me down again. A low breath pushed off my lungs and parted my lips, kicking off the heavy weight I kept carrying over my shoulders. It's just one of those days, you know. The calm steady ones. The ones where I can breathe without having to look over my shoulders every second.

The house is almost empty. There is only Dad, Roman, Liam, and the guards who are always here. The rest had gone somewhere, including him. I haven't seen him for a week now and I couldn't be happier. I don't know where he went to and I could care less, my only hope is that he never comes back. He is probably out there ruining more people's lives. Would it be too evil if I wished for someone to stab him, or maybe like put a bullet through his head...my dreams are simple actually. I am not asking for much.

My tired heart squeezed inside my chest and the dark part of my brain mocked this miserable state I am knee-deep in. It didn't matter though. This is my life now and I have accepted it. I have no choice but to accept it.

To keep Lilly safe, to make sure everyone is safe, I have to accept, or else he...

Speaking of the devil.

Uncomfotrablness prickled underneath my skin all of a sudden, my thoughts paused, and a wave of anxiety threatened to knock the breath out of my lungs. My shoulders tensed up as footsteps neared me from behind. I always knew when it was him. My body immediately reacted to his presence before my brain could register it.

"Why is she outside when it's cold?"

My eyelids fell down and my jaw tightened, gathering my fake strength before I turned around and faced him. Too much for wishing he stumbled and hit his big head over a rock. "Because, well," I crossed my arms over my chest, casually speaking, "It's none of your business."