The Death of Me | A mafia story

Chapter 38 - Because you're my little brother

[Even when I try to update early, Wattpad fucks up and doesn't show my update *rips my hair off*]

Cara's POV

It was dark.

It was cold..really cold.

A shiver went down my spine and my feet started to ache as I moved forward. Air heaved in and out of my lungs, jagged and coarse. I wrapped my arms around my frail body trying somehow to protect myself as the lights around me dimmed; it became darker, colder but that didn't stop me. I didn't know where I was heading to, but my body seemed to know the destination better than me, my mind wasn't the one in control and I just felt myself stop at the threshold of a house.

It looked old, torn up, just like I always imagined it to be; Crumbling and decayed.

My pulse thundered and pain grabbed my throat in a tight fist; Beneath me, the house blurred. It started to fade and it was replaced by something so different, by something so bright; It was all in my head, the images that flashed, the smiles, the voices my ears heard; It was all in my head. The sound of my light footsteps as I ran around, the squealing of my laughter as he caught me and took me in his arms. The voice... his voice.

The image of what this house once was...a home.

I pried my eyes open and walked forward. I opened the door and stepped inside. My eyes roamed, taking into each and every detail. Like its outside, the inside seemed to be ruined, destroyed, and broken.

Like me.

If you touch one thing, the walls would crumble, the ceiling would fall and crash. If you tried to turn on the light, the old bulb would burn the house and turn it into ashes.

Just like me.

Teetering on the edge.

One little push and it'll fall...with no hope of recovering or ever coming back.

Excruciating pain bore down on my chest as I tried to breath in the air inside this house...The air he once breathed in.

It was silent, a deafening stillness that screamed off all my fears. It was silent but the inside of my head wasn't; it was a chaos battle, between past memories and present; Each one trying to take over, but it doesn't matter which part will win because both of them have the power to put me down and wear me thin, the past that held his presence and the present he is absent in.

I pressed my hand over my chest, over my heart, the one still beating because of him.. because he chose my life over his. I tried to hold myself together but my knees went weak and buckled.

I backed into the wall to catch myself from falling. Clutching my stomach with one hand, I pressed the other over my mouth and tried to hold myself up in this world that had beaten me...beaten us down so many times.

Pain, anger, and loss spiraled through me and I let myself slip down. I pulled my knees up and buried my face in them. My lower lip trembled, I was still cold, so cold. The type of cold, no fire can take off. The cold that slips into your core and binds itself there, wraps around your inside and feeds on your fear.

Shaky breaths pushed in and out of my chest. I closed my eyes and hugged myself trying to feel one bit of warmth. I closed my eyes and tried to drift away, searching for warmth somewhere else.

I felt something being wrapped around me, I opened my eyes to see the jacket around my shoulders. My head cocked up in shock and I stared at the brown eyes that looked down at me with so much tenderness.

Oh god, I was losing my mind for sure.

My eyes widened and the word left my mouth as a mere whisper, "Dad.."