The Death of Me | A mafia story

Chapter 24 - Between us, It's never off the table

[NOT EDITED, NOT PROOF READ, NOTHING, BUT IT'S LONG SO HAPPY READING]

Cara's POV

"Come with me please." The nurse said with a smile. I nodded in return and followed her.

I wrapped my arms around myself as i felt a wave of coldness sweep over me. My steps heavy as i walked further inside as if some force is trying to pull me backwards.

It's for the best. I kept saying. Things will be better after.

It's the only way.

It's for the best. I kept on repeating.

I will be okay.

I am trying to stay calm. I am trying to catch a glimpse of light throughout this darkness. I have to do this. I have to step over my heart and overcome it. I am strong. I can do it.

This child is a mistake.

That's how everyone will see him. His father is messed up and so is his mother. He is better off far away from this cruel world.

I woke up early today, they all were sleeping when i left the house. I just wanted to do this on my own.

It's my mistake, and I will undo it by myself.

I didn't tell my mother, she won't accept it. Neither did i tell Katherine, because she will try to kick some sense into my mind and make me act otherwise.

As for Alex, he knows this is for the best.

Last night when i told him about my decision, he said nothing. He didn't support me nor did he stop me. He just stood there silently as i walked back to my room.

I don't blame him though, if i was in his shoes i would want the same.

I shook all my thoughts away when the nurse ushered me to the doctor's clinic, "You can wait here, the doctor will be with you in few minutes." She said with a polite smile, "I will leave you to change."

With that she walked away, she closed the door and left me alone to my thoughts. I took in a deep breath and changed, then laid down and waited.

I tried to turn off my feelings, at least for these few minutes.

I closed my eyes hoping it will blind me from this harsh reality. My hand involuntary went to my belly and more of my inside broke.

I am not just killing his child. I am killing my child, i am killing Lilly's brother or sister. I am ending an innocent life.

"I am sorry." I whispered as I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.

Cara no don't, don't back away now.

But the more i thought about it, the more it broke me. The more pieces of my soul crumbled, cried then died.

My inside is getting bloody, messy, and even with everyone around me, in this moment i felt desperately alone.

More tears went through my closed eyelids and scrolled down my cheek. I brought my hand and covered my mouth trying to suppress my feelings-