The Death of Me | A mafia story

Chapter 61 - The Death of Me

Hey everyone, a very very long chapter is awaiting for you ahead. There is a lot of switching between POV's (I know you hate that, but it is necessary).

Some of you are not gonna be satisfied by this end, but that's the thing, you all were divided into two groups concerning all the characters in this books and there is no way for me to satisfy you all, so I went with the original end I planned from the very beginning.

Happy reading!

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"...but I didn't want to be a fighter,
I just wanted to be free."

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Alex's POV

I never believed in fate or destiny.

All the soulmates and meant to be crap, they never made sense to me. The concept that no matter what we do, the outcome is sealed, that we are just puppets in the grand scheme of things...That concept is ill.

But what is scarier is that people actually believe in it.

They say what's meant to be, will be.

That in the end, everything unfolds the way it's supposed to. As if destiny is not the choices we make.

I just don't believe in that.

Yeah, I believe that I fell in love, but I believe that I chose her, I believe that it was my choice...not something written in the stars all those years ago.

It was my choice.

Like I chose to be with her; now, I am choosing to leave her behind.

I am choosing to move on.

For the very first time, I am choosing to be selfish.

On a heavy exhale, I stood up, for a moment I gazed at her. I couldn't help but think that what we had was so beautiful, it was everything I ever wanted. She was my everything. But all of that is now tainted. I am. She is. Our love is.

I walked away from her, scared she might wake up and see me. I pulled the phone and called Ashton again, "Hey, did you sober up?" I asked once he answered.

"Yeah, why?"

"Can you come back to the cemetery?" I asked, my eyes on her, "Cara is here, it's late and cold, can you take her home?"

"Yeah, of course," He said, "I am on my way."

I hung up after, found a near spot and just sat there, waiting for him to get back. My heart ached a bit at the fact that she is fast asleep here, all alone, by what supposed to be my grave.

I can't keep doing this to her. She will know I am alive soon, very soon, at least it'll be easier on her then.

I just can't let her know now, I don't trust myself around her. If she looks at me with those eyes, I know that I would just go back running to her. I can't let that happen. The stupid heart pumping against my chest is way too vulnerable when it comes to her. That little bitch, he never listens to me.

Not long after, Ashton arrived. I stood up and walked to him when he got down from the cab, "What happened?" He immediately asked. I just shook my head, "Nothing, she didn't see me."

"Just take her home." I added, "And before that, can you distract her for a while, I really want to go and see Lilly." I haven't seen her since I got her off that yacht. I miss her like crazy, and what if tomorrow I couldn't see her as well?