My love cycle | kadeja

022.

eight o'clock

20:05pm

the door knocked. i ran downstairs and he was right there. "marco" . he came to me and hugged me "i know" he said "i'm so sorry" i said whipping a tear from my face but more came down.

"deja . you know i love you right" he said "i shouldn't .. but you know i do" he whispered in my ear . " i love you dymarco" . he kept his eyes on me . no one breaking eye contact.

"come show me you love me" i said .

he put his hand on my hip and one on my face. our lips touched .

i took his and and pulled him upstairs. he was laying down and i was on-top of him . more and more clothes coming off.

his hands were reaching down between my thighs . all i could think about was us.

we kept kissing until other body parts met. he was literally inside me and my eyes were closed . "open your eyes" he said and he stopped kissing my neck.

positions changed and i was now on my back . he was kissing my whole body .

-

20:54pm

we was now laying next to each other exhausted . i put my head on his chest , i could hear the fast heartbeat. mine was faster . we was there just laying for about 20 minutes, he got up and put his clothes back on . "i'll see you later deja" he said and left the house .

did we just do what i think we just did.

i got a message from omar .

-
omari

omar : yo i'm sorry

me: typing...

-

i didn't know what to say . the guilt of what i just done whilst i had a whole boyfriend...i'm fucked .

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Thursday 12th march 2023
12/03/23

dear diary ,

i fucked it. i love omari but marco... we have so much history.

yesterday was bitter sweet but i know i fucked up. Omar is feared by a lot of people .. even kyrone watches how he speaks. i just put marcos life in danger again. what's wrong with me.

around Omar i'm so happy and he makes me laugh but around marco i'm vulnerable and sensitive. like i generally trust him with my life and body.

i don't know who to pick and that's a problem.

i'm going to go school today.. i haven't in ages . i want to see what's the vibe is like . i generally miss him .

he's changed so much. when i saw him yesterday.. he smelt so good .. he looked so much more mature . his hair longer . his voice deeper ... it was so sexy.

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i put my hair in a bun and put on my uniform .. it didn't fit the same anymore.. way to big. "mum where's my year 9 skirt?" i shouted "upstairs" .

i put on the skirt .. it was soo short but minor . i put on my super dry and my jordan 1s because what do i look like wearing wallabies to school.

i went downstairs "ou my baby looking cute or whatever" my mum said . i smiled and walked out the house.

i called the girls and told them i was coming into school and we met by the gate. me , jay , kay and sev . best group in school. we saw Tiana with Abigail but kept it moving .

"guys theres dymarco" i said . they all turned to me. "you got this !" kay said . "y'all i got to go form . kay come bruv" sevyn said . they walked off.

"dej. your glowing." she said with a smirk "thank you" i smiled. "you and dymarco fucked didn't you" she said "huh" i looked. "how'd you know it was him" i said scared "a year ago you couldn't even step in front of him. now you wanna go school yeah" she said "don't tell anyone." i said "what about Omar" she said " he doesn't know." i said as i rushed to form.

i was walking up the stairs and he was speaking to a group of girls basically jumping down his throat.

"deja" i heard . i turned around . "yesterday was a mistake and i ain't letting that happen again .. we're calm but i ain't getting stabbed again for messing with someone's girl" he said . "you go your way and i'll go mine" he said and walked of.