CHERRY FLAVOURED | xavier thorpe

ELEVEN. (breathe)

CHERRY FLAVOURED | CHAPTER ELEVEN
(THE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT ME...)
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."

― Edgar Allan Poe

I stared at my mother's empty office and I felt a rage wash over me. I could feel my heart still racing from running over and it wasn't getting any easier to catch my breath.

"I take it she didn't tell you Rowan was leaving?" Wednesday appeared next to me and I looked over at her with a slight jump.

"I didn't realize you were close," Wednesday thought out loud and I shook my head. "we aren't" I breathed out turning back to stare forward.

I felt sick to my stomach as everything, every piece, every single small piece connected in my mind. Wednesday wasn't crazy, at least not in this scenario. She was right, and Rowan was dead.

"I gotta go" I let out, turning and walking away quickly before the black-haired girl could even speak. My footsteps were fast and I wasn't focused on anything in front of me, which is what made it so easy to walk straight into Xavier Thorpe.

"Wanna watch where you're going?" He asked when I stepped back, a scoff lacing his words. I mumbled out a disoriented sorry and went to walk past. I felt his hand on my arm stopping me and I turned.

"what's wrong?" He asked and I titled my head slightly in question. "Adelaide you just said sorry to me"

"No, I didn't"

"yes, you did" We argued back and forth and he shook his head. "what's going on?" My eyes met his and I felt myself start to unravel. Just as I was about to pull him into a corner and spill all of my jumbled thoughts I gained my senses and pulled myself away.

"Nothing, leave me alone" I shot back, ripping my arm from his hand and rushing off. My head was pounding and there was a heavy feeling in my chest.

I could hear footsteps following me but as my breathing sped up, the sounds disappeared from my ears. I could feel my chest moving rapidly and even though I was taking quick inhales, no air was coming in.

I could feel tears prick in my eyes and I started to feel light-headed. My breath choked in my throat and I used to wall to stabilize myself. I could feel my body shaking and I put my head down, the panic consuming me.

My vision was blurry and I was squeezing my nails into the palms of my hands. It felt like I was underwater.

I felt the sobs wrack my body and I had no air. I felt hands on my shoulder and I jumped slightly, the heavy-chested feeling intensifying. I dug my nails into my hands further, biting my tongue as it got even more difficult to breathe.

It felt like someone was sitting on my chest while punching my windpipes. I could hear an uncharacteristically soft tone coming from the boy standing in front of me.

"Hey, shh. It's okay, it's gonna be okay" Xavier's words barely met my ears. My hands were shaking so much that when I brought them to my chest, my fingers were tapping against me.

My shaky breath was fast and I couldn't focus on anything. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tightly as I tried to take a breath.

"C'mon" I opened my eyes when his voice registered and he grabbed my arms, helping lower me to the ground so I could sit.

I leaned my head back against the wall and the shallow breaths continued. Xavier was crouching in front of me, his hand on my knee. "just listen to the sound of my voice Addy." I shook my head, everything overwhelming me.

I choked out a cry and Xavier rubbed his thumb against my knee. "okay, uh. Tell me the things you hate about me" He let out and I looked at him, salty tears still pooled in my eyes.

"yeah. list the things you hate about me. I can start. I uh, I hate how you tap your pencil against the desk. Oh god, do it I hate it" Xavier let out and I stared at him as my chest rose and fell rapidly.

"or uh, I hate how you start braiding this one small section of your hair in class when you're bored. And how you crack your knuckles every chance you get" He listed and I focused my eyes on him.

"your turn," He said pointedly and I shut my eyes tightly.

"I uh," My voice broke and I tried to take another breath. "I hate, uh," I let out a shaky breath. "I hate the way you chew" I tried to take another breath.

"And, the way you raise your hand in class even when you don't know the answer." I clenched my shaking hands again.

"And I- I hate how you walk, like strut down the hallway. And" Another breath, another shaky exhale. "how you draw in class so much that my side of the desk is covered in eraser shavings and graphite" Xavier nodded and encouraged me to continue.

"Okay, what else god knows there's more" He spoke and I shot him a look.

"I hate, I uh hate your stupid dumb grin" I sniffled before continuing. "I hate the way you gloat when you win and how you always bring up when I lose" A soft choked sob came from my mouth.

"I hate that you spray fifty ounces of your cologne on and I hate your stupid fucking cologne" I could feel my breathing start to slow.

"I hate how when you listen to your music you- feel the need to listen to it at the highest volume so- so that even when your wearing headphones every- everyone else can hear it"

"okay" He let out with a nod and I took in a breath.

"I hate the way" My breathing was coming back to normal and I blew out a puff of air. "I hate that you can never sit fully still in class, I hate how your leg bounces and the way you chew on the end of your pencil" I let out, meeting his eyes.

"Okay, okay" His hand was still on my knee and I was regaining my senses. "how do you feel?" Xavier asked, his tone still charismatic and soft.

"Okay," I said, my heart rate still fast and my hands still a bit shaky but I was coming down and I took a deep breath, sniffling a bit.

"okay" He repeated his words and he stood. He reached his hand out for me to grab and I shook my head. He waited by my side until I finally looked up.

"I'm fine, you don't have to babysit me" He nodded and walked down the hall. I took another deep breath and leaned my head against the wall.

"Addy, there you are. Class is about to start" Bianca let out and I composed myself before standing and following after her.