Previously known as The Accident
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She is beautiful. So fucking beautiful. She is a star and I would become an astronomer for her and I would study for the rest of my life and I would bleed, sweat and cry day and night just so I can underst...
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Indra Stella Naese is completely still. Her black hair is spread out around her with baby breaths and daisies placed on her slightly curled hair. Her skin is pale and her face is peaceful. Her eyes are finally closed and her hands are clasped together across her stomach as she rests.
There are so many people here. Almost every person who's ever crossed parts with her is present. Her mother and step father haven't stopped crying. Deon looks clueless and Celestia sobs every now and then. My family is here and so are our friends. "Indra Naese came into my life at the end of one semester like a star that fell to earth." I say, taking deep and heavy breaths as I speak in front of everyone. "Like no one I had ever met."
I look over at her lifeless body. I think about how we we're supposed to go to Paris and how we were supposed to be forever. "She was funny, and talkative, and moody, and smart, and beautiful." I look down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with her family.
When I look back up my breath gets caught in my throat. I see Indra walking into the church. She's wearing the same outfit she was wearing the night she died. There is blood dripping from her eyes like tears and in all the places she was hurt from the crash. Even though she is covered in dirt and blood, she looks happy as she takes a seat right at the back. I know that this is my imagination but when I see her smile at me, I want to act like it's not.
"And...I love her." My voice cracks. "I love her so much." My eyes meet hers and she lips curl up into a smile. "But right now all I feel, we feel is anger, emptiness, confusion." I say as I keep eye contact with her.
"And even though that hurt will never go away, there will be a day I won't feel it every minute and all the other feeling will fade and I'll only feel love towards her." I watch her intently as if there is no one else in this room. It's just me and her.
"So Indra, I love you and I let you go. I'm going to miss you and wherever you go next...I hope you're just as happy there as you were here." My lips tremble and my eyes burn with tears. "I hope that wherever you go next that you know that I love you." She smiles big and bold at me.
My attention is torn away when I hear the doors creep open and another figure walks into the church. My eyes quickly adjust to see its Noah. He looks the same as he did the last time I saw him. "Hey," he whispers, grabbing Indra's attention. "You coming?" She nods as she stands back up and begins walking towards Noah. I want to run up to her and get on my knees and beg her to stay with me or take me with her. I want to hold her and cry to her. I want her to help me, but she's already gone. I let a few tears shed before I turn to look at her in the casket once again.
We just buried her and now everyone is leaving. Not me though. I refuse to leave. I stay still until the last person is completely out of sight. I swallow the lump in my throat as I sit down by the grave with my crutches beside me. There isn't much on her gravestone but it's beautiful.
