Previously known as The Accident
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She is beautiful. So fucking beautiful. She is a star and I would become an astronomer for her and I would study for the rest of my life and I would bleed, sweat and cry day and night just so I can underst...
Read the prologue before you read this chapter for a better experience
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With my hands tightened around the handle of the umbrella I wander down the busy streets of New York City. It's rain season once again which means the possibility of me being able to flag down a taxi is going to be lower than my self-esteem.
I have my headphones practically glued to my ears even though nothing is playing. I'm only wearing them so people don't talk to me. My electric guitar is strapped onto my back as I want to sell it and I'm positive it's already damaged from the rain.
I whistle in hopes that a taxi will stop, but it just speeds past me which causes my heart to drop, sending images of the horrible scene. Her body laying far from my car, blood everywhere, her eyes still open, her neck bent weirdly. It's all coming back.
My body burns in the places I was hurt. There is a stinging sensation in my chest and the whole world begins to blur as I feel like I'm not connected to myself anymore. My eyes drop down to my trembling hands and everything feels like it's slowing down.
The sound of another car racing past me brings more horrendous images to my mind. The sound sends shivers down my spine, plunging me into a torrent of memories I'd rather forget. It's like I'm transported back to that blood covered street, holding her lifeless body and begging her to stay with me. The chaos, the suddenness, the loss—all flood my senses until I can't breathe. I try to push through, to convince myself it's just noise, but my heart races uncontrollably, and my hands shake involuntarily. The invisible scars that refuse to fade, no matter how hard I try to bury them.
My eyes shoot back up, looking for an escape until my eyes land on a girl. It's Indra. I watch her stand with her arms crossed, shivering. I don't like watching her like this. I know that what I'm seeing is just a hallucination and that she's not here, but I can't just watch her. She's the only person who can help with this panicked feeling.
This time she isn't in her usual white silk dress with her hair slightly curled. Now she's wet from the rain and she's wearing a blue hoodie with jeans.
I quickly make my way across the street. I jog down the sidewalk to where she is, just realising that this was where I first met her. I take off my headphones as I look down at her. "So you're back." I say standing beside her as she shivers and my hearts feels like it's glowing again.
She looks at me with her eyebrows furrowed. "Excuse me?" She says but her voice sounds different and she looks a lot shorter.
"Here." I say handing her the black umbrella that was sheltering me just like I did when we first met. She takes it from me, hesitantly. "Thanks." She mumbles, sheltering herself from the rain.
"You were everything I didn't know I wanted." I say, catching her attention. She looks up at me with her eyebrows furrowed. "It could've been the way you made my heart glow or those days you were there for me when I felt low." I sigh, looking down at the wet concrete.
"I fell in love with you nonetheless." She keeps looking at me like I'm talking gibberish. The rain making my hair wet as tears form in my eyes. "I remember how we would constantly laugh and how your voice would make me feel safe." I laugh a little remembering all those good and bad moments as a tear falls and mixes with the rain.
"I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being everything I didn't know I wanted and I'm sorry my star." I wipe under my eye, looking up at the night sky.
The stars look brighter tonight and it makes me smile. "Look at the stars." I say through teary eyes instead of the bright ones I had when she was alive.
I quickly glance at her to see that she's confused. "Look at the alignment of the stars tonight, Indra." I tell her again, thinking that she just didn't hear me.
Her bright green eyes don't sparkle like they always did and her hair that was once as dark as tar doesn't reflect on the city lights. I beg for her to look at something that was important to the both of us. How the stars aligned.
"Please Indra, look at the stars tonight." I smile through blurry vision. "Sir... my name isn't Indra." She whispers and my smile drops. "My name is Haven." She says, taking a step away from me. "Fucking weirdo." She mumbles under heat breath as she quickly walking away from me with my umbrella.
