Monza - {Lando Norris}

Chapter 49

Lando's POV

Silence... My brain is numb to the constant beeping from the machines surrounding me as I sit in the silent room, my eyes staying focused on the door as if Sofia will come running back through it, I don't know why I even expect that after the way I spoke to her. I don't know what come over me... the words just flew out of my mouth without a second thought, I always end up taking my anger out on the wrong person, Sofia didn't deserve that. I tried to get up to apologise but my back roared with a fiery pain which resulted in me lying down again feeling sorry for myself. My phone sits on my lap lingering on Sofia's name debating whether to call her or not, would she even want to hear from me or should I give her space? "Man up Lando, she's the best thing to happen to me...I fucked it" I stare down at the silly picture she set for her contact picture, a picture of her sticking her tongue out makes my heart burn "Fuck it" I bring my finger down to press the call button but my mother rings me as soon as I do "Suppose it can wait" I answer my mum's call for her to be screaming ecstatically down the phone to me, something about how good it is to hear my voice after so long and that her and my dad won't be long until they're arriving in Singapore... fuck, they're going to wonder where Sofia is and then it will end up with them giving me some hard truths about how fucked up I am. The phone call doesn't last long and I'm back to my thoughts, I wonder where Sofia is and what she's doing, she wouldn't fly back by herself... would she? That's so unsafe for such a gorgeous girl. I whip my phone open again and bring up Daniel's contact.

Text messages: 

Lando: you're close with sofia right? 

Daniel: Is this Sofia trying to prank me? 

Lando: No! Are u? 

Daniel: I'm not convinced... what do you want Sofia 

Fuck sake, why is Daniel like this. I take a selfie of me sticking up the middle finger whilst attempting to give a half decent smile, I press send and watch as it goes to delivered to read in milliseconds, the bubble to indicate Daniel is typing pops up and disappears multiple times, clearly he's shocked but now isn't the time. 

Daniel: What the fuck! When did you wake up?

Lando: Doesn't matter, I fucked up

Daniel: What do you mean? Are you ok?

Lando: no... I was fucking awful to Sofia and she walked out on me, I'm worried sick about her

Daniel: Let me guess... you got all defensive because you can take care of yourself and shut her out?

Lando: I hate to admit you're right but yeah...

Daniel: You need to grow up and let people help you, what do you need?

Lando: Just text her for me please, make sure she's ok

Daniel: Why can't you?

Daniel: Oh wait... you're an immature little bastard who shuts everyone out after something happens, it was the same exact thing at Russia. You didn't speak for weeks and you were a fucking devil or something... you honestly to wise up Lando, I'll do this one thing for you since I care for Sofia but you honestly need to grow up, stop shutting people out or you'll end up all by yourself.

Lando: Thanks Daniel, this means a lot. And I know. Please text me as soon as you find out. 

I set my phone back down onto the bed as I throw my head back onto the pillow, Daniel was right, I couldn't keep shutting people out my entire life every single time something goes wrong, that had to change. I feel the tiredness creeping throughout my entire body, something so simple as lying down for a scan took so much out of me, I fight the urge to sleep, not wanting to until I find out Sofia's safe, she'll probably know I told Daniel to text her, I just don't have the balls to text her myself. If only I was able to express my emotions correctly... I blame it on my childhood, always being told to keep my emotions in check. Whilst on track my trainer always told me to never let my emotions get the best of me, so that's what I did but honestly I went the completely wrong way around it, other drivers have their own hobbies which lets them de-stress themselves after a hard weekend but me? I keep it all bottled in and I always take it out on the wrong people, my parents know all about it... Every single time I crashed I would take it out on them, they tried everything with me, even buying me a punching bag but that done nothing, if anything it angered me more as I imagined my rival's face as I punched it, every punch getting harder with each swing. My parents raised me right and I'm not blaming them for anything but I can't help but feel that I would be normal had I not thrown myself into karting at such a young age, I sometimes think the stress of being in the public eye as well causes my outbursts, as well as the lingering thought of having to do well in every single race... what am I even talking about? Trying to put the blame of me speaking to Sofia like that on other things? That's not the case at all, it was all my doing, these things are just add ons that I don't know how to deal with appropriately, I need to stop letting everything build up, I need to find something to de-stress me... therapy pops into my head but my PR would have a field day with me if that got out to the press, it's not a bad thing for men to go to therapy but since I already get enough hate from fans, I couldn't imagine it if they found that out. My thoughts are disturbed as my phone buzzes and I snatch it off the bed hoping it's Daniel.

Text messages:

Daniel: She's fine.

Lando: That's all? She didn't tell you what she was doing or anything?

Daniel: I didn't want to pry on her

Lando: So god knows where she is??

Daniel: She'll be fine, realistically she's on the first flight back to Italy

She wouldn't do that to me, she wouldn't leave me all by myself. I need her... my breath hitches in my lungs at the thought of her leaving.

Lando: What did she say? Did she say anything about me?

Daniel: She said she's fine and that's that, nothing else to add. 

Lando: Fuck

Daniel: Honestly mate, bit of brother advice, give her the space. Nothing will come from you texting her, it will more than likely end in an argument which will just make it worse. Get your rest, realise you fucked up and sort yourself out, hope you're doing all good, hopefully see you soon. 

Lando: Cheers Danny. 

I open the safari on my phone and type in therapy back in England as I read all the reviews for multiple different therapists, I send an email to the one that has the best reviews before I reach over to the bedside table and set my phone down, I glance out of the window as the sky is a dark black, not a star in the sky, I wonder if the moon gets lonely without the stars to occupy it up there... Sofia was my star and I just fucked that right up, I sigh to myself as the blinds are wide opened, something that Sofia must have closed every night, I close my eyes to the thought of Sofia and end up falling into a peaceful sleep as my dreams are occupied of my glowing star.