Girl Crush

Chapter 32

 "When did you know?" Dani asked as they rode to school the next day.

"Know what?" asked Eddie.

"When did you know that you loved me...I mean, like really loved me?" This question had been pestering her since he'd stated that he'd been feeling this way for three years.

"Well, it might sound insensitive, but it was right after your dad died," he said, his hands fidgeting on the wheel. "Being there for you, I realized that I always wanted to be that person for you, the person you clung to when the world was falling down around you. I wanted to be the person that you told everything to, all the good and the bad. In that moment, it scared me knowing that I was that person for you now, but I might not always be. I knew if you found someone to share your life with, that I would take a backseat to them and I realized I hated that thought. I hated it so much."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she questioned, her mind racing to think back to that time. Had he ever given her any sign? None that she could think of but to be fair, she had not noticed much during that time, so wrapped up in her own grief and despair.

"I wanted to tell you then, but I knew it wasn't the right time. You were grieving, absolutely crumbling, and I didn't want to take advantage of you when you were so vulnerable. I didn't want you to say something you didn't mean just because you were so emotionally raw. I thought you'd get through the other side of your grief and realize you'd made a huge mistake. So, I stayed quiet and then time kept passing and I didn't know how to bring it up anymore. It felt like this giant fucking chasm I couldn't cross. I worried if I did, that you would pull away from me and I would lose you forever," Eddie said quietly.

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes and she swallowed hard, saying, "I can't believe that all this time, we've been experiencing the same exact feelings, the same exact fears and desires. Had one of us been brave enough, we could have had all of this months ago."

"Maybe," Eddie agreed, pulling into his parking space at the school and shutting off the van, "or maybe we just weren't ready for this. All that really matters is that we have it now. So, when did you know?"

"Six months ago," she said quietly, "but if I'm honest with myself, I feel like I've always known. I just stopped being able to ignore those feelings then. Eddie, no one has ever made me feel safer or happier or allowed me to just be myself, more than you. I've known, from the time we were kids, that the universe put you in my path for a reason. I just didn't let myself see it. I don't know. Maybe it was too big for my young girl brain to contemplate. I was able to push it down until it came raging to the surface, refusing to be hidden anymore, and I couldn't deny it. You told me a long time ago that we were soulmates and you were right. I couldn't ignore it anymore because you're the only person for me."

He turned in his seat, smiling at her, "Dani and Eddie, just like it's supposed to be."

Then his lips were roaming over her face, along her neck and Dani was completely lost in a haze of bliss. One hand slid under her shirt, holding onto the side of her waist, pulling her closer against him. The other hand grabbed the neck of her shirt, pulling it to the side as his lips moved along her collarbone and shoulder.

"Jesus Christ...Eddie..." Dani managed, gently placing her hands against his chest. "You have to stop. We're going to be late."

"I don't care," he mumbled against her skin, that hand on her waist beginning to creep upward. "I have more important things to do than math."

"Eddie, seriously," she laughed, pushing him back. He groaned, putting on his best puppy dog eyes, that lower lip sticking out. God, why did he have to be so hard to resist? She pressed her finger against that lip, pushing it back in. "Trust me, I would rather be doing this with you but we have to get to class. The epic Dani and Eddie adventure, remember? It rests on both of us successfully graduating."