Hate Me Until You Can't [PSLU #4] [GL]

PROLOGUE

04: HATE ME UNTIL YOU CAN'T

'There's another story, where two people meant to be in that same universe.

However, if there's another lifetime being, there's no such thing as conscience for those who seeks revenge and vengeance in order to get the fulfillment of gratitude.

Hence, no way that they are meant to be. Because two broken people are not meant to stay in one pace, it would only lead for them to crack and create more boundaries, where people might think that the crack is meant to be the missing pieces.

Thinking about it, what could the ingredients to fill, in order to fix the ice that wasn't meant to be broken?

Or maybe it is a hinder and distractions because every time you see that love is like a rose, then it is meant to be beautiful. But did you ever thought about seeing the inner beauty of it? Are you ready to learn that roses have thorns and flaws? That love...is not exactly how it portrays.'

If there's one thing in my life that I would never dare to do all over again, that is to fall in love with the same person. Unfortunately, in my supposed to be own story - I did. But shamelessly, I never thought about regretting the part where I let myself get drown by the madness of love. Because I know that it was my fault why my life got messed up, and as to why we both drifted apart before we could even start.

I mean in the first place we were born not to be a perfect human, yet I think when the angels made a rain coming from the clouds above the sky ay sinalo ko na lahat ng red flag. I admit, I was too reckless with my decisions, I became impulsive, and I forgot about the part where I was supposed to understand why she decided to cut everything between us.

Because there's no way that I could be able to heal that broken part of hers, in the end it is the matter of living to heal. Unfortunately, she decided not to take part of it, as for her that it would always be the remaining the components of what they had to go through in order to seal the love that they are supposed to have.

Cliche, romance has never occurred to me, and I never thought that I would be able to experience it. But the angels didn't agree with me, nor cupid. He must have done it purposely to arrow and shot it to the wrong people.

I softly whispered on her name, while caressing her face. I know this is the official ending between us, I know that this would be the last time where I could be able to touch her for real. In the first place, what do we have? What are we?

"We tried...." I unconsciously wipe her tears off using my thumb. It feels like hell knowing that I was the one who cause her pain. "Sinubukan naman natin... Pero baka hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa, Professor Salvador..."

"We did, at least in those moments what we had felt real." I tried to conceal my overall emotions, but I still failed knowing that those tears of hers came because of me. "I just want you to be happy from now on... Because you deserve everything, you deserve the love that I wasn't able to give."

In those moments, I would only walk away, and not get ahead of myself. I used to think that getting emotional over a power of the conversation doesn't suit right next to me. But being a social butterfly does the work as it might help you in the connections for business purposes because that's how I was thought to live.

Either way, I wasn't meant to be in this case. I still think that getting involve in arrange-marriage would not be a perfect fit for someone like me. What a shame, I still got myself stuck in a place where I hate the most, but I couldn't bring myself to ignore it.

"Hindi ako interesadong pakasalan ka Miss Acozta. I hope you knew about that."

"Mas lalong hindi ako interesado lalo na sa buong pagkatao mo, kaya ka sigurong hindi nagustuhan ng pinsan ko dahil sa tinatago mong ugali."

"Let's not get ahead about this arrange-marriage-thingy. Gaya ng sabi mo, I won't flirt with anyone dahil ayaw mong madungisan ang pangalan mo. Pero sana maging ganoon ka rin, wag mong ipakita sa iba na gusto mo parin ang pinsan ko, ano nalang ang magiging lugar ko kapag nalaman pa nila ang tunay mong nararamdaman hindi ba? I sincerely hope once again that you will follow your own words this time."

"Wag ka mag alala, hindi ko na siya gusto."

"I know how it feels to be the main character, then after a few seconds biglang naging second lead, Professor Salvador. Kaya hindi mo kailangan mag sinungaling sakin, dahil kitang kita ko sa mga mata mo kung pano mo siya mahalin ng patago."

I must admit that I got involve to several commitments of having a partner or being in a relationship. But it always ended up into one thing: break up - which I couldn't feel anything after the marks. I wonder why? Maybe it is the fact that I might be only in love in the idea of love. Scary, isn't it? Because we were thought that love is everything, and it might put you in the situation where you didn't have to have everything... as long as there's love presented.

But I was different, the only thing that I should do is to fulfill the duties that I have as a human being is to be successful. That's the only thing that I have in my mind right now. Otherwise, I would be considered as failure.

"So, why am I here with you in the first place?"

"I just want to see her for the last time." I responded, my eyes pierce through the stage. It was awakening, to consider the fact that I never thought that I would be able to watch her show.

And I'm so proud of her achievements, I was able to witness that behind her shadow, and that's enough for me.

"Why are you so being buggy? Why can't you just woman up, and see her for yourself? It has been years and you continuously trying to blame yourself from everything." She uttered heavily with cross arms against her chest.

"Seeing me would only awake her nightmares." I tried to crack a small smile in my lips, and swallowed a heavy lump on my throat so it wouldn't sounded hoarse.

"At sa tingin mo, hiding yourself would save her from those? Paano ikaw? You got hurt; you always get hurt in the process of believing that you should save everyone." I know... I knew about that. But I still can't bring myself to stop.

Especially when it comes to her.

"Just because you failed to save the first one, it doesn't mean you have to save everyone else..." She added, caressing my hand that is landed on my thigh as her way of assurance.

"But cutting myself in the picture, brought her to a new life journey. Look how happy she is, performing with her newly beloved girlfriend."

Watching her with her new girlfriend breaks my heart, but I wasn't selfish enough to hinder her to possibilities of loving someone else. She deserves to be happy.

"I hope you're still well enough for being the most sarcastic person that I had ever met." She shakes her head, which made me chuckled while bowing my head. Afraid that she might be able to see me as she's searching for someone in the audience.

I stand up, there's no need for me to see the ending of this story. Afterall, the moment that she decided to move forward is the reason why our chapter already faded but I don't blame her for anything, it is meant to happen that way. It's enough for me to see how well she have grown without me, and how she became the stronger woman that I've ever known.

"Until when do you have to hide behind the curtains?" She inquire once again, claiming that I wouldn't be able to get a hold myself anymore.

Because I know we will still meet along the way even if we decided to take individual paths without crossing each other - like a parallel line.

"If the day comes that she still continues to hate me until she can't, that's when a sub character like me will fall through, and I can assure you that I will be the one to reach her out..." She eyed me, in disbelief. Maybe she didn't think that I would turn into something hopeless romantic.

"Hate me until you can't." I added, whispering through the thin air while watching her on the stage portraying her first most sincere performance without me.