The Perfect Boyfriend List

Chapter 20

[Chapter 20] Happy Birthday

Birthday isn't a big deal for me. Unlike everyone, birthday for me is a regular day. It does not signify anything for me. My world doesn't stop for anything. Siguro kasi for me, birthday equals bullshit. I don't believe in wishes. Kasi yun lang din naman ang saysay ng birthday hindi ba? It is for a birthday wish ng celebrator. For me, wala na akong maihihingi pang iba. I've got everything any girl would wish for.

When I was a little girl, I used to believe in fairytales. I even had a tooth under my pillow. During Christmas eves, I used to stay up and wait for Santa to come. I would end up sleeping on the couch then Manang Belinda would wake me up. Pagtingin ko sa socks, may mga regalo na. Then when I was growing up, I realized na si Daddy ang naglalagay ng mga regalo dun. Nagising na ako sa katotohanan na wala naman palang panaginip ang totoo.

My parents thought that all along, my wish was to have a lot of toys and to have a palace like Sleeping Beauty's. Hindi nila alam na deep inside, my only wish is for them to stay on my side.

Kagaya nga ng sinabi ko, I learned to watch and cooperate with reality. Nalaman ko na not all fantasies (well, all of them) are not meant to exit the doors of books. Kasi hindi naman talaga totoo na may fairy godmother, toothfairy, Santa Claus, Hansel and Gretel and other characters in classic books.

Simpleng hiling ko nga lang na makasama ang pamilya ko sa mga birthdays ko, hindi mapagbigyan e. What else pa kaya na magkaroon ng Prince Charming na kagaya ng meron si Cinderella?

It is not forbidden to dream. To dream for a better world to pop out. But in every dream, you need to wake up. You need to face the reality. You need to drag yourself out of the little dream of yours before it turned out to be your worst nightmare. Before it's too late.

So on the day of my birthday, it was just a normal day. A few quizzes. A few reports. A few assignments. A few projects.

Will, Liesl and Cray are my bestfriends since first year high school. At sa tatlong years na pagsasama naming apat, they know that I don't want someone greeting me happy birthday. I also asked them not to buy me any presents. Ayaw ko kasing nagcecelebrate ng birthday. I feel like a very huge dork.

There are only two instances that happened today where someone greeted me 'happy birthday'. The first one was Ate Sandra who greeted me after all the students exited the science class. I only smiled at her.

The other one was from my anonymous stalker who left a rose and a box of present on my locker. The note says 'happy birthday, my other half'. The present peacefully rested on my locker. I have no other intention of opening it.

Kapag nalaman ko kung sino ang nagbibigay sa'kin ng mga bagay na ito, lahat nun ay isisiksik ko sa sikmura niya. Everyone knows that Rachel Mae Pascua is a hard competitor. Ayaw kong nagpapaloko sa iba.

Nagtataka lang ako kung paano niya naipasok lahat ng iyon sa maliit na butas sa locker ko. Mukhang may susi siya. May duplicate siya para mabuksan ang locker ko.

I went home early. The only time Wren and I met was back on lunch and recess time kung saan sumabay sa'min si Ate Sandra to eat. I was thankful of her that she didn't mention anything about my birthday. Hindi ko alam kung sinadya niya or nakalimutan niya. But either way, I'm still thankful that she kept her mouth shut.

I slept for almost four hours kaya it's past eight o'clock na when I woke up and had dinner. Manang Belinda said na kumain na daw si Wren. Hindi na ako hinintay. Siguradong gutom na gutom yun e. Tinaguan ko ba naman ng mga junkfoods na kinukulimbat niya sa'kin.

Hindi naman sa nagdadamot ako. Ang sa akin lang, ayaw kong dumating yung araw na kapag bigay ako ng bigay sa kapwa ko ng meron ako, pag ako naman ang nangailangan, hindi nila ako bibigyan. I just don't want to regret my decisions when time comes.