The Perfect Boyfriend List

Chapter 30

[Chapter 30] Assurance

"Bakit? Why are you stopping yourself?" tanong nya sa'kin.

Ito na nga ba sinabi ko e. Kapag sinabi ko sa kanya, for sure magtatanong nang magtatanong ito. Hindi niya ako lulubayan until he get a valid reason to do so.

I shrug as I turn my back on him again. He touched my tummy and gently patted it.

"Rachel, please. I deserve an answer and an explanation," he says. "Ayaw kong ma-stuck tayo dito sa point na ito. If you're falling for me, please don't stop and control your feelings. Sana naman wag mo kong iwanan na nag-iisa sa ere. Ayaw ko ng unrequited love."

I closed my eyes. Huminga ako ng malalim ang speak my heart out. Tama sya. He deserves an explanation or an answer. Maybe at that point, malalaman ko kung totoo ba sya sa nararamdaman nya. If he can't wait, totoong hindi sya seryoso sa bagay na ito. If he can, I'll be most happy to give my heart and pour everything I have to him.

"Kasi natatakot ako," I confessed. Naghintay ako ng reaction from him but he remained silent as if motivating me to continue. So I did. "Natatakot ako na dumating yung araw na kapag sinagot ko yung pabalik yung words mo, iiwan mo ako sa ere. I'll be miserable by then. When that time comes na ibigay ko sa'yo ang lahat tapos iiwanan mo ako, I don't think makakaya ko yun. Ayaw kong iwanan. Ayaw ko ring masaktan," hinarap ko sya. "So you better leave me alone for now kung hindi ka seryoso dito."

His hand reached out to cupped my face. And he rub his thumb against my cheek. I closed my eyes and parted my lips, indulging the moment of silence.

"I won't hurt you if that's the assurance you need," he said. "Kung si Amber nga ay hinding hindi ko na papayagang hawakan ka at saktan, sarili ko pa kaya?" I opened my eyes and met his gaze. "If you say you'll be mine, I promise to love you irrevocably even if somehow, the odds aren't in favor to us. I promise that when you're at my side, nothing and no one will hurt you. I will rather stand up to be your armor than see you in pain. I would do everything just to protect you with all my might. I would do anything just to satisfy you even if that meant exchanging my ego for you. Kasi ganun ako magmahal."

I smiled. "You sound so corny."

He pressed his forehead against mine. "Bahala na kung corny. Basta masabi ko lang once and for all how I really felt to you," nagangat sya ng tingin at nagkatinginan kami. "Minsanan lang ito kaya lulubos lubisin ko na. Baka kasi biglang magpakita yung monster alter mo e."

Nakunot ang ulo ko. "Bakit? Scared?"

He smiled as he played with my hair. "No. Why would I? E dun nga ako sa monster you na yun na in-love e," para namang kiniliti ako dun sa sobrang kilig. "It's just that, ayaw kong maputol in mid-sentence. Kaya patapusin mo ako ah?"

Namumulang tumango tango ako. He cupped both of my cheeks and smirked at me. "Gustong gusto ko talaga pag nag-bla-blush ka. You remind me of someone."

"Of whom? Si Amber?" may pagdududang tanong ko.

Kinurot nya ang right cheek ko. Mahina siyang tumawa. "No, silly. Kakasabi ko nga lang kanina na I fell in love with you because you're not Amber e diba. Hindi ka ba nakikinig sa usapan namin ni Amber kanina?"

"Nakikinig."

He smiled. "You remind me of my mother. You have the same qualities. Sya din yung tipo ng tao na ipaglalaban yung alam nyang tama sya at kapag alam nyang nasa lugar sya."

"Bitchiness?" I asked.

Tumango sya then smiled. Hinaplos ko ang dalawang braso ko nang maramdamang parang nilalamig ako.