CORMAC [TDH - IV]

Chapter 21

IMARI NOELLE

Iminulat ko ang mga mata at hinayaan ang sariling iproseso ang mga bagong nakikitang bagay sa paligid.

"Hey." tawag pansin sa akin ni Yakov na prenteng nakaupo sa may malambot na mattress sa wooden chair na nakapwesto sa mismong gilid ng kama ko.

"Ayos lang ba sila?" the very first thing that came out of my mouth. I've been worried sick of the people who harassed me, my conscience was utterly poking me right now.

"Who?"

"Iyong mga lalaki," saad ko. "Are they alright?"

"Why do you even ask about those piece of shits?" he hissed.

"I don't want them to get hurt. It's the alcohol that influenced them, Yakov." sinserong saad ko.

"Don't start, Imari." he dismissed and stood up.

"Bakit?" tanong ko. "Nasaan sila? Gusto ko silang makita."

"You'll find them six feet under the ground, Imari. Dig their bodies if you want."

I looked at him in horror, I couldn't see any ounce of regret in his face, it was pure blank and he wasn't even bothered at all.

"Bawiin mo." I warned him. I left the bed and stood in front of him — challenging his firmness with my heavy tone.

He didn't respond.

"Mamamatay tao ka..."

I was starting to get hysterical, I couldn't stomach how he's not feeling guilty of what he did to those people! He's unbelievable! I don't even understand why people like Yakov exists in the first place!

May mga pumasok na tao sa loob ng kwarto at may dala dalang mga suitcase. Bago pa naman ako makapagsalita ay narinig ko na ang mahinang pagmumura niya at tumitig sakin.

"They're packing your things because you're going with me in Monaco." aniya.

Nangatog ang mga binti ko at halos mawalan ng balanse dahil sa mga narinig.

Hindi na magkamayaw ang puso ko sa takot, umalis ako sa harap niya para sana ay tumakas pero hindi pa man ako nakakalayo ay nahawakan na niya ang mga braso ko at pilit na pinapaharap sa kanya.

"Imari." he called out my name but I was determined to escape in this whole mess. "Hey." he convinced me to throw a glance at him but all I could feel is unspeakable disgust I have with his existence. "Imari, look at me!" when he raised his voice, that was where I only had the chance to stop my heart from beating so fast.

"N-no." napaluhod ako at humikbi. "Hindi ko na kaya." I let my vulnerability get the best out of me, I couldn't stand strong and act like all that's happening isn't affecting me, that isn't the case anymore.

"Hear me out, alright?" he spoke.

"No! No! No!" hinampas-hampas ko ang dibdib niya at tinulak siya ng marahas pero hindi sapat ang lakas ko para ipaglayo ang distansya naming dalawa.

"Damn!" he hissed under his breath.

"Please, ayoko na." I surrendered. "Ayoko nang mapalapit sayo. You're evil! You're a killer... a rotten murderer!"

Hindi siya nagpatinag sa mga ibinato kong masasakit na salita laban sa kanya mismo. He looked at me and I could sense that he is silently begging me to listen to him, but I just can't! He's done enough to make me feel horrified with his mere presence.

"Baby, please." he pleaded. "Hear me out, please!" dama ko ang frustration sa boses niya, desperadong nagmamakaawa siyang pakinggan ko ang side niya pero ang hirap.

"Hear what? Pagbabantaan mo rin ako? Papatayin? To-torture-in? Ano?!" I yelled at him.

I heard the door closed and the indescribable silence engulfed our pierced hearts.

"No!" he quickly answered. "I could never do that to you." biglang nag-iba ang tono ng pananalita niya. Mahina, maamo, at malungkot.

"If you really killed those people without feeling any ounce of guilt," I initially said. "Then I couldn't afford to make myself feel comfortable around you, Yakov."

"I'm sorry." he uttered. "I only did what I thought was right, baby. I don't care how many people should I have to kill in order for you to be safe! I fucking don't care if I end up in hell if it means that I am protecting you from all harm this world freaking have! I don't fucking mind losing my soul if it means that you could sleep at night in peace..."

"Stop justifying what you wrongfully did, Yakov. You killed those people and nothing's gonna change with that. You took away their chance to repent from what they did! You took away their will to change!" I rebutted.

"Then I'm sorry!"

Mapakla akong natawa sa sinagot niya. Ni-hindi ko man lang naramdaman ang kaunting pagsisisi sa tono ng pananalita ni Yakov!

"Sana pala noon pa kita nilayuan. Kung alam ko lang na ganyang tao ka pala, hinding hindi ako magdadalawang isip na kalimutan ka. You're an indespicable human, Yakov. Nakakahiya na nakilala pa kita."

I knew how those words inflicted an unbearable pain in his heart, I could see how hurt he was through his very eyes, I felt extreme guilt after letting those words slip away from my mouth like it was not excruciating. But I did what I needed to do, and that's enough.

Pinilit ko ang sarili kong tumayo at tinitigan siya ng matagal habang siya ay nakayuko lang sa sahig at nakaluhod.

Tinalikuran ko na siya at pinihit ang doorknob.

Bago pa man ako makalabas ay naramdaman ko ang mahigpit na yakap ni Yakov mula sa likod ko at hindi ko lubos mawari kung bakit ang yakap niya ay nagdulot ng matinding paggaan ng loob ko.

"I'm sorry, Imari." his voice was soft yet sincere. "Please forgive me, baby."

"I can't forgive you, Yakov. You should ask for forgiveness to those people you killed, they deserve it more." I responded and let go of his hug but it was tight, too tight that I couldn't dare to get myself out of his arms.

"No," he persevered. "Please, forgive me. I'll do anything for your forgiveness. I promise, I will. Just please, tell me that you forgive me."

"Hindi ako ang nagawan mo ng kasalanan, Yakov. Wala kang dapat ipaghingi ng tawad sakin, kaya please rin, stop apologizing to me."

"Imari." he whispered. "I know it was wrong but I did that for you. They did you wrong, babe. They fucking did you wrong and they deserve where they are right now. They hurt you and I couldn't bear to know anyone who tries to hurt what's mine, baby. Don't be unfair this time."

"What?!" I was puzzled. "Do you want me to thank you? You want me to praise you for acting like a psychopathic murderer? You're being ridiculous, Yakov! Hindi ako tanga na maglulupasay sa tuwa dahil lang ako ang rason bakit nakapatay ka, nalulungkot ako para sa sarili ko Yakov, dahil ganyan pala ang impluwensya ko sayo. "

"Hell no, Imari! I'm —"

"Please, aalis na ako. Hindi ako sasama kahit saan na kasama ka, Yakov. Wala ka nang hahabuling pirma sakin at sapat nang dahilan to para tigilan na nating guluhin ang buhay nating dalawa. We've had enough of each other, really."

I walked out of the room and headed straight to the gate. Bumungad sa akin si Dominic sa labas at hiningian ko siya ng pabor na ihatid ako pauwi sa apartment ko.