The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Chapter 48: Saeloun Byeonhwa (A New Change)

I couldn't look at her; she kept pleading and begging me like the child she used to be with tears in her eyes and I just couldn't take it. She didn't know, she had no idea of knowing that if Hwi or herself was never involved in this...chaos, then I could have achieved my goals by he end of the year and I could have relocated them somewhere with me like I had originally planned to. But Hwi was on his way here from a war that he was in no way prepared to fight for, and I had his most precious person wrapping her arms around me and crying her heart out as if I could save her, not knowing that I was the one who indirectly imprisoned her right along with me. But then she had to wrap her arms around me and she...she just caught me off guard because she was sill soaking wet from her bath that I had just pulled her from. And she was just looking at me straight into my eyes...
"My Lord! My Lord?" "What is it!" "My Lord, my Mistress has a report to give to you!" "I won't hear anything that she has to say! Now get out and leave us alone!" "But My Lord, you really need to hear this...!" I angrily stormed off towards her and I ordered the servants to take her down and flog her for interrupting what was about to happen with Yeon, who almost ran out of her quarters until I caught her by her waist and I pulled her back inside so we could continue our conversation. But before I could say anything, I could only hear some ringing in my ears before my knees buckled under me and I couldn't remember what happened after that. I only knew that I woke up in Yeon's bed with a wet cloth on my head to break the fever that I was still suffering from.

Yeon was strangely quiet, but I wasn't going to be the first to speak, not after the intense morning that I just had with her. So I let her treat me in silence for the rest of the night and even feed me when I needed it. And she really did take such good care of me, to the point where I found myself secretly envying Hwi all over again for hiding this treasure of a woman right under my nose and having her care all to himself for the entirely of our friendship. But looking back at it, the only reason that I was allowed to get somewhat close to Yeon in the past was surely because of her...peculiar personality that she had back then. And if he knew the sort of thoughts that I had going on in my mind that confused me to no end, well I was pretty sure that he would never let me see her again.
"You are being awfully quiet my lord, what are you thinking of?" "A lotus that surfaced from the water, her beauty naturally unadorned, she really is one of a kind..." "Excuse me? Did you just...recite poetry?" "No! I just...looked over at your books and I remembered something, that is all. Where are you going?" "I am just handing you some tea, have it whilst it is still hot." "It smells fresh and it goes deep into my lungs. What sort of tea is it?" "Jasmine, for those who do not like ginger when they have a colds." "It isn't just jasmine is it?" "Plum flowers, pine leaves and chrysanthemum. The water for the tea is collected from the dew drops of lotus leaves, it will help to clear up a foggy mind." "You really are into all of that flowery lark aren't you?" "I am still a woman, even though I am not too...feminine." "You could have fooled me. Do you...want to plant something? Trees for example?" "Is this your attempt of trying to distract me?" "You goddamned brat, you couldn't just let me suggest doing something nice for you, could you?" "Well, I would like some pear and apple trees, they are said to be like candlelights at night." "What else do you want?" "Hmmm. I would like my freedom before anything else." "Apart from that?" "What do you mean?" "What...type of man do you want? What do you want him to give you?"

"I...do not want anything." "Excuse me?" "Whatever it is that married couples have, they should get them together. The idea that one party gives everything whilst the other just takes doesn't sit right with me at all. They should both build up their homes from the ground up, they should both have some sort of income until the wife falls pregnant, they should both do chores and cook for each other. They should both care for each other equally." "You really do not think the man should carry all of the..." "That is only for arranged marriages. But even then, if marriage is an alliance between two families, then both families should share equal responsibility." "What about a nobleman?" "What about them?" "Would you marry..." "Honestly...no." "You do not wish to marry a nobleman who can protect you financially and in every other aspect?" "Noblemen aren't gods who can grant wishes just because they have money. That is something that I learnt here." 'Are you being serious? You wouldn't want to?" "Epilepsy, poverty, amnesia, all of this before I am even 18 years of age. For all of my suffering...is it really too much to ask for a simple faithful man who can give me my freedom?" "What does that entail?" "The freedom to be educated, the freedom to earn my own income no matter how small it is, the freedom to make my own decisions and live how I please. I do not wish to 'join the crowd' as you do. It is far too suffocating." There was no other girl I knew or could even imagine being so honest and outspoken with their opinions. Not even Hui-Jee could say any of this due to her being brought up in a brothel. But Yeon was in a far more...fragile position that her with nothing to loose, and yet she wasn't hesitant in the least to say what was on her mind. Maybe she really was growing up in front of my eyes and I was the one with problem of constantly locking her up in her quarters and not letting her out of my sight. But whether that problem came from our prior relationship or something else, I did not know. I may in fact be a lot more confused than I originally thought.