The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Chapter 72: Bimil (Secrets)

As the days went by I had tried to keep my composure around Seon-Ho with all of my might. I had regained my memories that very night after reconnecting with my brother from a distance and I had been conflicted with so many emotions; anger, sadness, remorse, guilt ever since...but I didn't blame Seon-Ho. I couldn't. From the minute I woke up here it was pretty clear who was puppeteering his son as if he was good for nothing else. And I couldn't help but notice a broken look in Seon-Ho that I had never seen before I lost my memories. No wonder he kept his distance from me, I must have reminded him of my brother so much that he must have been unable to bare it. But just as I had started to remember everything slowly, there was now something...else festering between us, something very deep and intense and I couldn't find my way out of it no matter how much I tried...but a part of me didn't want to try at all. I had indeed been miserable ever since I regained my memories and as filial as I had always had been to my brother, he wasn't here to keep me sane and vice versa. And for the first time since I had contracted my epilepsy, it was gone now, I was free to do as I pleased, explore options I had never had before, and live my life to the fullest. And if there were any consequences to be had then I would be ready for it...and as for my brother, well I had long figured out what the hell Nam-Jeon was putting him through. But thankfully, myself and my brother were both well educated in how to deal with situations like this due to the nature of my father's work. Even though he didn't like to talk about his work to us, but it was hard not to hear about it from neighbours, friends, random people on the street and so on. I trusted that Hwi already had a plan to save us all from Nam-Jeon, but it wasn't going to be easy to keep him away from us after that. The only option we had was to not only get him arrested, but he had to be tried become the Emperor himself.

So at first I started drugging the guards and sneaking out to explore the village I had grew up in all over again. And I had managed to make a few associates on the way. And once I had manage to accomplished that I started to scour the town for some specific jobs I could work part time at least. The Nam's worked in the palace almost every single day and I had stashed away enough of their gold to buy what I needed for my plan to work. And I worked low paying jobs that I knew my brother would kill me for if he knew, but I had to worry about that later for now. Especially my washing job here I washed clothes alongside maids of some of the most distinguished households in the city, which was a particularly useful job indeed. I was able to hear news from Nam Jeon's privy council work directly from their maids themselves and then I was able to leave notes for my brother. It still was't safe for me to contact him directly so I hoped that he would take the hint since I was sure that I could help with men instead of abandoning one of them. I got so caught up in work, gathering information about Nam-Jeon and getting tired everyday from working at about 3 places at the same time that I forgot to keep checking on Seon-Ho. But he was the one who kept distancing himself from me deliberately again when I needed him the most so why was he upset with me now? I knew it was his father who controlled his every action with threats but what was I supposed to do then? How could I please both men?

So when Seon-Ho broke down I couldn't blame him...but as for the way he acted, well...I refused to believe in his sincerity this time. I had also found out long ago about his crush on the woman we had met whilst flying kites who was apparently in love with my brother. She was in fact the first person I had turned to when I had tried to regain my memories...well the things I had been up to recently I knew my brother would not be happy at all so I needed somebody to turn to that I could trust to mediate between him and myself, and even Seon-Ho. She knew all of us so she was the perfect fit, despite her own dangerous games that she was playing. I had also grown close to her friend Hwa-Wol as well who's lover was one of my brother's new friends from the Liadong war so I confided in them with my plans, which was a big step for me as I had never had somebody of my own to confide into. So I didn't expect Seon-Ho to notice my absence at all, in fact I thought that he would be relieved almost that I wasn't bothering him anymore...but what came over him today? Why was he so upset with me? And why...why did his room smell so strongly like my perfume?