The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Chapter 88: Haebang (Liberation)

Her precious self that was wrapped around me, her scented hair that tickled my chin, her clear hazel eyes that kept piercing mine, and the denial that she was putting into her words drove me crazy to a point of no return. We had never been so close to each other before, and I was desperate to see what she looked like in the light. And I got more than I asked for when I saw her new fitted rags that she wore paired together with the shoes that Hwi had given her from his sparring money that he had collected from me. Seo Hwi, Han Hui-Jae or Yeon, my Yeon who had unconditionally stayed by my side in my most desperate and isolated time. No matter how I had treated her or saw her, from the moment her brother introduced me to her and let me grow up by her side, she become my person as well. She was mine; no matter how I treated her yesterday, today and tomorrow, she knew what could happen when she decided to defy my father to look after me.

It was almost morning now and I knew that everyone would start making their way into the palace in a few hours, and neither of us could be caught here together with the almost dead body in our presence. My emotions and other feelings that I had were well and truly out of control as I took her by the hand and I took her to an empty office room nearby that was no longer of use to anyone.

"What are you doing? What is going on? Why did you bring me here." "Why?" "Why what?" "Why can't you marry me?" "You have already lived this life with cruel judgements attached to your birthright, and now more than ever, you are a rising star in the palace after your father's judgement. How can I let you drag yourself back down to the bottom by marrying an epileptic orphan with a lowly status such as mine? How can I possible give a man children with my condition? I do not think that I could even conceive and bare children at all. I would just be a burden if I married anyone other than a eunuch..." I remember making a silent prayer in my head, for god to forgive me for making plans on a woman who had no blood ties to me, but I couldn't let her go. She was my person, the only person who willingly approached me over and over again. Her brother needed time to get over what I was forced to do, so I had nod choice but to give him that, but I wasn't going to let Yeon go by an inch.

"So, you will not marry me because of your societal fears?" "I cannot bring you down because of it because you care so much about these rules. I also cannot marry a man who is keeping secrets from me about my own life, and especially one who already has a lover." The defiant tone in her voice was just adding on to my already out of control emotions and I held onto her again when he turned around to leave by placing my arms around her slim waist that I had fantasied about over and over again. "Are you saying that you were going to leave eventually?" "Did you expect me to stay forever?"

I couldn't blame her, no matter how upset I was at her and myself, I really couldn't be angry at her at all. She was right about everything; she would most likely had a better quality of life if she was married. But I had suffered too much at this point and I had been pushed to my breaking limit. Even if there were other options for Yeon to escape or enjoy a different life, she wasn't going to do it without me, not now and not in a hundred years.

"Men are allowed to have more than one woman, I will fully give you your memories and you will come back home with me until I figure out a solution for you." "I will never accept a man who has attachments to other women, you will give me my memories back regardless of anything and I will stay here until you do!" "Just who do you think you are?" "I have no idea who I am because you are hiding everything from me! So what do I have to loose if I defy you since I have nothing! Just who do you think you are to do this to me! Just because I live with you doesn't mean that you can treat me how you please!" Never in my life have I ever witnessed a woman shouting back at a man, it just didn't happen in our nation at all. Even if the men were in the wrong, women weren't allowed to shout at men from every angle possibly. I was honestly so shocked that I couldn't help myself but to laugh like I had never laughed before. It was a loud and usual loud that had never came out of my mouth before, but it made me feel euphoric and suddenly, all the emotions were coming back, especially as I couldn't take my eyes off of her no matter what I did.