The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Part 7: Gyeollon (Conclusion)- Chapter 83: Gungjeon (The Palace)

The air that surrounded a palace of bloodshed was rather cool, which took me my surprise. And it was placed in the beautiful Songak mountains, where only women of noble blood were permitted to enter as far as I knew. I had been shaking in fear from the moment I was ushered into the prince's carriage without even having a chance to pack my belongings for the long stay. But seeing as I was going to the temple, it seemed fruitless to bring anything at all, although I always carried small dairies on me hidden in the cuff of my sleeve. I was not usually a nervous person, but I felt my anxiety shooting through the roof of this marriage without my brother, whom I really needed in this moment. He did such a good job of raising me that I barely thought of my parents at all. And now that he wasn't by my side and constantly lecturing me about some nonsense or another, they were all that I could think about.

I remembered that the very first reason why I hated the palace was because it kept taking my father away from us for work, even though it was necessary to support us. I remember hating it so much that I always clung onto my poor father whenever a eunuch came by for my father's summons. I would alway burst into tears whenever I saw any official from the palace near our home and my father had no choice but to sleep in my bed with me before going there. Myself and Hwi wouldn't see our father for days or even weeks on end sometimes and I absolutely hated it. I was a daddy's girl who couldn't live without him...and then it was the palace officials who arrested my father and threw him into a boiling cauldron in front of the entire village, which developed my epileptic condition that completely ruined my life.

My father with his small beard, his sharp black eyes, his tall stature, his big hands that comforted me every time I saw him and his rough cheeks that always touched mine as soon as I was in his arms with my face tucked into his neck. My father with a firm tone of voice, his musky scent and a smile just for me. Father, I miss you every single day and I would trade everything I possibly have to bring you back to life so you can help Hwi, who has always needed you, even when you think he didn't. Just because you were gone for so long doesn't mean that he didn't miss you as much as I did and even cried himself to sleep every time you weren't home. We love you and miss you so much, and we have both never needed you more than we have in this moment. I'm scared, I'm confused, I'm angry and I am all alone. What do I do? What should I do now?

We finally arrived to the palace and Hwi was the one who showed me the way to the temple were I was going to be staying. I kept trying to ask Hwi questions about what I was going to be put through, but he had been acting off with me for a while now and I had no idea why. He wouldn't't look at me at all until I threatened to run away right there and then.

"You are so damned reckless baby sister, just like our father." "At least it worked. I have you back and nothing can tear us apart now." "You are still a part of the Nam's until they decide on a good disaster relief plan, that is why you have to stay here alone." "And what about you?" "I have some clean up work to do with the men that have followed me from the army. I need to stay at the hideout until the prince calls for me..." "But Brother..." "And under no circumstances are you allowed to see Seon-Ho again! I mean it Yeon; I am grateful for how he looked after you and that is why i even asked the prince to show him some mercy, but that is all I will do for him until he grovels at my feet and beg me for forgiveness. I will have someone personally watch over you, and i will not introduce them to you because i know how easily you can wrap any stranger around your finger." A part of me wanted to keep arguing for Seon-Ho's sake, but hearing those words coming-out of his mouth made me realise that I really shouldn't see him until he repaired his friendship with my brother. I had pampered him for so long and hopefully, he had learnt something after everything that i had helped him out with. And if he didn't make that attempt...I knew exactly where we stood, along with the news of my betrayal that he was bound to hear in the dungeons.