The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Chapter 77: Gusil (Pretense)

From the moment that I caught the Young Master coming outside of Yeon's quarters looking all hot and flustered, I had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I had more important things to worry about. Coming up with the perfect disaster relief plan was all that every man in this kingdom could think about, but this time I wasn't going to help the Young Master and he knew it. In fact, i was surprised that he didn't go and beg daddy to kick me out yet, since he knew he couldn't make any accomplishments without my help. "What is the matter, Young Master? Why do you look like that?" "Mind you're damned business and attend to your pregnant concubine!" He shouted at me before, he walked off, but not without taking one last look at Yeon who looked almost as disheveled as he did. But that wasn't possible since the Young Master had already acquired a lover outside of this home and he had a pregnant concubine to look after. And as for Yeon, she was the inexperienced yet faithful kind of woman. She knew not to cross her limits with her Young Master and she knew to treat me well since i knew all of her secrets that she was keeping from him. But nevertheless, that didn't stop me from simply checking in on her for her own safety, as she kept playing with her clothes, which was rather unusual for her. Looking back at it now, i really should have seen all of the warning signs, but I was so caught up with this exciting opportunity to step out of the Young Master's shadow and becoming my own man so i could take her away from the Nam's and even her brother if he was still alive.

"Why were you alone with the Young Master? Did something happened? Did he shout at you?" "I...he...the concubine..." "What did she do now?" "She suggested to the Young Master that I marry her old Master to help Seon-Ho achieve a higher rank at work..." "What! Is she out of her damned mind?" "She says that she has support from the Big Madame's sister who is hell-bent on rebuilding her sister's reputation and keeping her husband sweet..." "Well, don't you worry about that. I promise you that I will give you a better life once i come up with a suitable disaster relief plan." "What shall be the reward for this?" "We will all be granted a single wish from the Emperor himself along with a promotion at work to an entirely new office if we so wish. Hey, come over here, I do not want you to sneak out so much whilst I am not around. I have already found you a job as a washerwoman as you wish, although i have no idea why..." "That is my business, but rest assured it will help us with our escape plan." She really did look so pretty today, in fact, she was positively glowing today and i couldn't help myself but to give her a little kiss on the cheek before I made myself at home in her quarters as I have done as late and I tried to come up with my own plan, hoping that Yeon would be smart enough to help me out. But she never did. In fact, she wen straight to bed in a strange mood as soon as I settled down to work, which was so unlike her. But I had all of the time in the world to address that later on, after i had won this battle with the Young Master.

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I couldn't eat, i couldn't drink anything and i couldn't sleep at all despite being watched closely by Dal, who had barely left my side since i managed to return home that day when i saw the Young Master fighting for Hui-Jee. But now he was on my mind for a very different reason and i did not know what to do about it. the shock of what just happened between myself and the Young Master had just worn off as soon as i saw Dal coming right for me and now i felt strange things inside me that I could not control. I felt...hot and bothered, like there was something unfinished between myself and the Young Master, Despite his arrogant actions and words; his eyes were soft with affections and I most definitely felt something deep down when the most guarded man I had ever come across started to touch me like he owned me and with so much ease as well. I had seen the times that he would completely freakout if any other woman got too close to him, and yet he seemed to be as ease with me. Did this finally mean that he trusted me? In a way that I never thought that he would? And not only that, i seemed to have tasted something that I had never tasted before, but it was beginning to burn inside me like a beast that needed to be fed in that moment. But Dal was still watching over me and the Young Master had disappeared, or so I thought. In fact, it was only when i managed to calm myself a little that I realised that a finger-sized hole had been poked though the paper window that I slept adjacent to my pillow. And i wasn't alone. I had no idea why he was hovering near me still when he needed to grab the chance to come up with a good plan to elevate his own status at work, but it felt nice to have him around. It felt like the first time in a long time that I wasn't sleeping alone and I was grateful for the company, no matter how tempting it was.

I must have lost my mind, but I was craving him to be in front of me again and holding me...No. what was I doing? I had a plan to get out of here and help my brother and i had a plan to ditch Dal as soon as i could. He wasn't as helpful and great as he thought himself to be and he was starting to control me more than Nam-Jeon ever did, which took me by shock. He wanted to know where i was and what I was doing at all times; who I was interacting with and why. But I felt...carefree around the Young Master; like he would let me do anything that I wanted to do as long as i involved him. And for the first time, my thoughts started to wonder about a life outside of this place, but not only with my brother. I wondered how life would be different for myself and the Young Master. Would he really bother to see me anymore? Or would he follow me everywhere like he does now in his residence? Would we be friends? Or something more? Lately, it felt like anything we said to each other could rub each other the wrong way and that we were just waiting to fight each other. But for what? Resentment? Peace? Why was it so hard to have a straight conversation with this man? Nam Seon-Ho, i am fully aware of what you are going through with my brother...but what are your plans for me? Are you using me as a hostage? Or are you really trying to protect me?

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After what had just happened, I was more than ready to go to bed, but something held be back until she fell asleep, so i wouldn't worry about Dal forcing her to do something that she didn't want to do. And I wasn't expecting the concubine to suddenly burst into tears right there and then when i returned to my quarters; this was by far the most awkward situation that I had ever been put in. I could only secretly call for Dal to collect Yeon to help me out with this situation and just wait until she had calmed down. "Is there another reason why you do not want to marry me? Is there someone else that you like? Is she really worth throwing such an advantageous marriage away?" "When you stay by her side, you will feel a sense of relief, you will be willing to share all of your thoughts with her and do everything for her. When she laughs, you feel pleasure from seeing her in such a happy state. But when she cries, your heart will also sour with hers. You want to see her every second of every day; to be intimate with her and taste her, smell her and hold her as much as you can. You will want to become one with her, and you feel that in her company." I replied to her with my eyes falling fast and heavy onto when I was pretty sure that I was describing somebody else. "I have been visiting you for a long time and I have even temporarily stopped these visits in hopes that you would chase after me."

"Let us dispense with the pretences; ever since I had apparently caught your eye, you have treated me as a possession behind my back. Do not think that I had noticed that my work hours have changed and yet I am getting paid equally as my seniors, even though I am still a junior in my office. People from different cliques that oppose my father now actively stay as far away from us as possible, even in the Emperor's court. The gibangs turn me away, kisaengs all turn their faces as soon as they see me in their direction. You treat me as a possession since you know I cannot get close to anyone, due to my birthright. And I am not allowed to savour any luxury apart from you. Being someone in this way will suffice them, and this is more than I can handle..." "Nonsense! I am not the only woman in history who is wiling to do everything to support her man. Do you have any idea how many people despise you in this village? And in the palace? I am merely protecting your life and am keeping you clear from any sort of scandalous behaviour that could ruin your reputation? Your refusal of my heart is one thing, but the one who you wish to give yourself to may not live long enough to receive it either!" "Who are you talking about?" "I am talking about your little kisaeng bitch!"