The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Chapter 86: Geim-Eul Sijaghaja (Let The Games Begin)

Life was not easy with the monks, but it was better than being in Nam-Jeon's company any day. I was subjected to endless prayers, chants and transcriptions for the next week. But after that, my workload seemed to have increased almost tenfold and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to find a way into Nam-Jeon's office to help my brother. But luck seemed to be on my side as I happened to have run into Seon-Ho's colleague that kept trying to visit me until Seon-Ho lost his temper about it. Even back then he still wouldn't behave and act as recklessly as he was now. I had no clothes to wear other than the ones that I had made for myself, so I wasn't expecting him to stare at me a much as he was now. I tried to engage in conversation with him, but he wouldn't talk to me or even look in my direction at all, in fact, he looked like he was downright upset with me. First Dal and now him? What on earth was wrong with these men that I was around nowadays?

"Sir, have I done anything wrong? Why do you refuse to look at me? I do not even know why you stopped coming around?" I had managed to sneak out unnoticed as soon as I saw him and I was more than aware that I was pestering him. But I had to feign interest in him in order to follow him to his office, despite the many witnesses that surrounded us. "Yeon, I truly am disappointed in you. I didn't think that you were that sort of woman?" What are you talking about? Did Seon-ho say something to you?" "I...asked for your hand in marriage. But he laughed at me and informed me of your relationship as clear as day." "What relationship? I have known that man for over a decade, that is all..." "He told me that you are his mistress, and that he will marry you as soon as he can."

Not even I had a good excuse for what he just told me because I was stunned into silence. Didn't this happen in my first year with the Nam's? Why the hell would he say something like that? Even back then? He wasn't even around me that much back then so why...
Seon-Ho. Nam Seon-Ho, the man I loved and protected as much as I could was now in turn trying to ruin my already fragile reputation, but why? And why was he becoming an obstacle in my path? He distanced himself from me when I needed him the most, but any chance I got to myself away from him, he would find some way to sabotage it? And the worst thing was that I really doubted if my own brother knew this side to him, so I had no idea about how to handle this at all.

By the time that I regained my senses, he had already left and I was left on my own to find my way back to the temple where a very angry matron was waiting for me for sneaking out. "You have been sent here for punishment! How dare you leave your post and just..." "Madame, forgive me, but I am not a religious person. I very much doubt that Buddha will take my transcriptions seriously..." "You..." May I ask you, are chants or transcriptions a more effective method of relieving one's sins?" "Chants are more effective." She replied, so I made my way to the idol everyone prayed at to begin my chanting in a rather loud tone of voce. I knew that I was going to get in trouble for this, but now I saw that Seon-Ho's dislike for the palace's practices were more serious than I had anticipated. Everything in the palace stuck to such outdated systems and practises that my father's demise seemed to be determined as soon as he set food in this haunted palace. And the worst thing was that my father was an intelligent man, even more so than Seon-Ho. My poor father, he must have already known what he was getting himself into, especially since never made any attempt to work for the palace until he was personally summoned. And not only did he not have a choice to decline the offer, but he did it to feed his children with no mother figure to help him out at all.

"Will you stop being so disrespectful? You must chant silently." "I have repeated these words only 5 times, but you are all already irritated by it. Then if myself and all of the monks in the world chants or transcribes something again, then won't Buddha himself also become irritated. As I have previously stated, I am not religious, but I do believe that the essence of Buddha scriptures are not in either one of these forms. But from understating it; if one's heart is empty than so their intentions." Not a single person knew what to say or do next, so I had no choice but to keep kneeling on the ground which was beginning to become quite painful. I was either going to be punished or taken out of the place to god only knows where, but it looked like Nam-Jeon had just about enough of me and the feeling was mutual. And the further I stayed away from Seon-Ho right now, the better it was for all of us.