The Love They Never Had: The Nam Mansion

Chapter 6: Man-Yag (What If?)

I still really couldn't believe the guts this girl had to start making bold statements in front of me, I had never seen anything like it before and I had met Hui-Jee when she was dressed as a man and almost got myself and Hwi's legs twisted as torture punishment. Yeon had proved herself worthy enough to stand firm in my world and take on anybody she wanted, just like how I couldn't....maybe even my father. She was so different to how she used to be but not entirely; she was still cute, but she was using the same frankness on me that she was used to using on her brother which I was still getting used to...but not in a bad way either. It was honestly quite refreshing how...casual she was with me and how much she actually trusted me by approaching me again and again, despite the tensions we had due to her memory loss that still hadn't come back. This was certainly a new experience for me as I hadn't experienced someone's...anyone's trust in...a long time. And she was the only one in this mansion who wasn't angry, selfish or horrible to anyone, she was her usual happy go lucky self, just like she was before her memory loss. New feelings were also starting to develop from deep inside me ever since I saw her standing up for herself for the first time, feelings that I thought I had for someone else...I shook my head in the moment to wake me up, trying to remind myself who these women were in my life and convincing myself how different they were...and failing.

I also couldn't help notice the way she had started blushing out of nowhere, and suddenly so did I. I would usually laugh at a situation like that, she usually acted very cute when she used to see me used to get excited...but this time I couldn't laugh it off for some reason. In fact I couldn't say anything at all, but when she turned away to leave...I suddenly found myself wanting to find a reason for her to stay next to me "hang on a minute Yeon" and out of nowhere I grabbed her arm again and started dragging her to my room...and I was still holding onto her when we arrived. I gave her a new large set of noble clothes that I personally handpicked myself when she started to keep to her new quarters. I looked up at her again, expecting some kind positive reaction from her but she just looked...pensive.

Her reactions disappointed me more than I had expected, but I should have remembered that Yeon wasn't a really feminine sort of girl. She had been tagging along with myself and her brother and she had no females around her, so I guess it was to be expected. "What's the matter? Don't you like them?" I asked her softly, trying to hide my own reaction. She looked up at me with such clear eyes that I was almost rendered silent for a few minutes before she answered me "is all of this really still necessary? Do I really have to give up who I am to become something I'm not just to fit in here? I really don't mind going back to my rags." She was looking at me so earnestly I had to look away from her. Her question stunned me honestly; who wasn't willing to give up being poor to live the life of a noble person and all the wealth and luxury that came with it? I had me so many people who were willing to cross all boundaries to become something that they weren't...I guess I didn't know how desensitised I became to it all until she questioned me so innocently that I almost felt myself collapse under the filth I had to live in. Who knows how many sins my father committed to create the roof over my head or to provide us both with food and clothing from god knows where...I was so lost in these thoughts I didn't even notice that she kept pulling on my arm for an answer.

"You don't need to completely sell yourself out to survive, just do it enough so you can survive my father's suffocating obsession with becoming the royal nobleman who has everybody under his thumb, even the royal family" i couldn't help but snicker on that last part but I also couldn't help but notice her rolling her eyes at this statement. I honestly had a hard time believing that pure and innocent people still existed in this world before I met the Seo's but Yeon's innocence was indeed so pure that it made me hate what I was doing to her even more. I just handed the clothes to her and I promised her that she would have my protection no matter what both inside and outside this mansion.