Kessoku Kokoro | A Bocchi the Rock Fanfic

Chapter 7: Confessions and Confidence

"...I suck-" Tokumei muttered under his breath. The practice was so bad that he doesn't even want to look back on it. All that's in his mind is that his legs shook, his voice went from loud to mumbly at times and he didn't even remember some of his lyrics and that he was so out of sync with the rest of the music. 

"Yes, you do," Seika was brutally agreeing with the boy who's now slumped over the mic stand. "You do know you're a singer right? The star of the show? If you of all people lag behind, then your band will take the fall with you. You've got the voice, but your confidence and loudness is like a blinking light. At this rate, I might just cancel your part of the show." 

The manager left. Her angry glare was fully imprinted into Tokumei's head as not only has he disappointed someone he admired, he disappointed Seika... His first crush. That's going to destroy anyone.

"I SUCK-" Tokumei laid down on the stage and punched the floor. A loud thump could be heard all across the stage. 

"I suck even more," Hitori lamented as she began to crawl inside of a mango box that was beside the trash can. "I couldn't even play with you guys. I was just doing my own thing."

"I couldn't even sing on beat," Tokumei had a depressed look on his face. "Not to mention, my voice sounds monotone since I'm too nervous in front of so many people."

"There's barely 10 people in here," Ryo removed the band holding her bass. She very carefully laid it back into her case. "If you think that's bad, then it's about to get way worse from here."

"Guys please, I'm the one to blame here. I'm the drummer. I should be the one carrying the beat and guiding you guys to the melody," Nijika tried to console the both of them. 

"And as always, I'm the best one in this band," Ryo stylishly flipped her hair. She then crouched near Tokumei and whispered, "Since I'm the best one, you have to do what I say in order to succee-"

Her head was punched by Nijika who angrily scolded, "Don't take advantage of him, his self-esteem is almost as low as Hitori's!"

'OUCH,' Tokumei thought. 

"No way, compared to Tokumei, he's more confident than me," Hitori murmured inside the mango box. 

"Yeah, Hitori's righ- Wait no-" Tokumei sat upwards. "She's just very lonely that's all-"

"Hitori...bocchi... Hitoribocchi. That's what we'll call her from here on ou-" Ryo said before she got sucker punched by Nijika again. 

"I can go by Bocchi-" Hitori peaked her head out of the mango box.

"I am not calling you that," Tokumei mentioned.

"...But... it's my first ever nickname-" Hitori whimpered.

"...And it's still better than yours... Pfft. Tokumei," Ryo giggled monotonously before reverting back to her cool self. "I come up with the best names here. First Kessoku Band and now, Bocchi our guitarist."

"...I hate my name that's why I go by that," Tokumei just casually shared some trauma.

"Alright, this is getting depressing. Let's take a break for a while," Nijika interrupted. She then went to look for the magic dice again, hoping to get to know Hitori and Tokumei better. "We've got to make it quick though, we still have another practice session to go through. Until sis says we're decent, we're not gonna stop practicing."

"Forget the magic dice," Tokumei scoffed. "I do not want to faint again."

"Please get the magic dice," Ryo rooted for Nijika's searching. Then, a lightbulb began to appear in her small brain. She smirked and looked at Tokumei. "Wait, forget the magic dice. I have a better idea."

"...Oh no," Nijika and Tokumei said simultaneously.

"Kiss, marry, kill. Out of all the female members in the band, who would you kiss, marry and kill?" Ryo asked.

'...This day is just going SWELL NOW ISN'T IT?' 

'I hate her. So much.'

'If you avoid the question, you'll just be setting yourself on fire. Just answer honestly.'

'WHAT. NO.'

"Stop teasing him, Ryo," Nijika kept on searching for the box. "We've got to make him comfortable not drive him away-"

"I'd kiss Nijika-" Tokumei admitted.

"EH?" Nijika's face flushed red and she immediately looked at Tokumei.

"I'd marry Hitori," He kept on going.

He could've sworn he saw her glitch through the mango box.

"I'd... well I wouldn't want to kill you, but... I don't think of you that way romantically... Not yet at least," Tokumei lied, but he honestly isn't the type to kill anyone. He could barely interact with people. How could he even bring himself to hate someone?

"Not yet? Well, at least your heart won't be broken when I eventually reject you," Ryo coldly stated.

'OUCH,' Tokumei thought. 'My poor, poor heart.'

"...Maybe that's for the best. It'd probably be a mistake to marry you since you'd just mooch off me-" Tokumei realized. 

"That's true... I can't find the dice. Let's get back to band practice. We've run out of time," Nijika went back to her drums and picked up her drum sticks. Ryo began to go back to her bass and unlock it's case. Hitori was still somehow no clipping through the floor. 

"Also, Tokumei... You're only confident in the weirdest of times, huh?" Nijika twirled her drum sticks around. She hit a cymbal twice to test it's sound. "Why can't you just use that to carry you to your stage performance?" 

"I'm used to singing to only in front of my sister or the tv screen. Nothing else... Honestly, being in front of a stage in a band is something that's so cool but like... I'm only cool in the fantasy. Reality kicks in and then you start worrying about making mistakes. Then, the fantasy crumbles. You start to realize you're not as cool as you thought you were going to be. Then, your confidence just... dwindles," Tokumei explained. He felt like grabbing his bag and then leaving. Why'd he explain this to them? He barely even knew them. There's no reason to even be in this band except out of pity. 

"...Think of it this way. You practically confessed to two girls and got rejected by one. Isn't that just more impressive than singing on stage?" Nijika asked.

"...," Tokumei blushed. "Don't take it literally. It's just a game. Nothing major and that's way different." 

"Yeah, but like... it's not supposed to be major. Confidence comes through when you least expect it and if you get rejected, then it's just going to get better," Nijika encouraged him. "Don't beat yourself up when you're not amazing. All you need to remember is that you have to keep on trying."

"Alright, I'm prepared to fail this second practice," Tokumei pumped up his fist.

"I-I'll help too," Hitori finally stopped glitching and scurried over to the stage inside the mango box. "You know this box actually helps a lot-"

"I don't suppose you guys have a spare or-" Tokumei asked.

"No," Nijika killed his hopes. "And get out of there, Bocchi."

"Bu-but... box makes me feel safe-" Hitori mumbled before Ryo removed the box and threw it away. 

'Goodbye Mister Box. It was nice to know you,' Hitori thought before Nijika slammed her drum sticks together.

"WE'RE KESSOKU BAND! AND A ONE, A TWO, AND A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR-" Nijika announced before the live house was then filled with slightly disorganized, but highly charming indie music.