Kessoku Kokoro | A Bocchi the Rock Fanfic

Chapter 43: Heartbreak

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Tokumei didn't have nightmares that much anymore. Which was weird for him. He was expecting something else. He suspects it's because his self-esteem is no longer in the negatives thanks to Nijika, but he likes the feeling of passing out only to wake up the next day without a hitch.

It's weird for him having nothing to do, but just being spoiled by Nijika is kind of nice. He kind of gets where Ryo's coming from living here every day. But he shakes the thought out of his head. Odds are... he's never going to end up living here. The only scenario where that could happen is if he actually does move in or... he marries Nijika.

He brushes off that thought.

As if that could ever happen. 

She deserves someone better.

Someone rather than him.

She's the best. There's no way she'd settle for... 

He should really stop talking smack about himself. He does think he could have a chance if he tried... As self-indulgent as it sounds, but... No. 

He shouldn't get the wrong idea. She said those things because she loved him platonically. Not that she loved him romantically. It's normal for friends to notice things about each other. 

Speaking of noticing things, he finds it cute that her ahoge practically wiggles so much when she's finished solving an equation on her homework. But when she's guessing, her ahoge just moves to the letter her best educated guess is. 

It's nice that she always smiles when she makes eye contact with him. How her red eyes just smile alongside her actual smile. A small rosy red blush too. It wasn't like Kita's where it was just... unapologetically blinding. It was warm. Inviting. Cute even.

She's always focused on whatever task she has to do. Never even once letting distractions deter her. She's unbelievably kind and weirdly tolerating to the three messes that they call adults living in her apartment. 

Her perfume was... weirdly bubbly and comforting. Was that weird? He does need to breathe and the laws of science dictates that the perfume coming from her has to diffuse to the rest of the room where he is so...

He'll just not tell her. She might find it creepy. 

But one thing he did ask is: 

"Wait... that's not a scrunchie?" He asked her.

"What? No. It's my hair. I just braid it up," She says as she's tying her long hair to her usual side ponytail.

"...I THOUGHT IT WAS- NO WONDER IT BLENDED IN SO WELL," He looked at her hair more intently. It was braids. It wasn't a scrunchie. He can't believe he hasn't noticed before. That does explain why it's the same color as her hair. 

"Do you need to get glasses or something?" She asked, actually worried that his eyes were actually worsening. 

"Wonder what I'd look like in them though?" He asked. He thought of himself wearing some. He cringed at the sight of his imaginary face. Or how he thinks he looks. "No. Nope. Impossible. I'd look like a dork."

"Aren't you already a dork?" She asked. 

"Hey, I'm a dork, but at least I'm better than... burnt.. pork... Argh, I was trying to come up with a clever comeback," He pouts.

Nijika laughs for a bit. She missed this Tokumei. The kind of guy who'd just try and fail at being cool instead of being cool all the time. She pats him on the head and says, "Adorkable. You're adorkable."