Cold as ice (douma x reader)

17.

Douma's POV for the whole chapter!

I was running with Akaza cursing at myself over and over again. 'Why did I try and kill her..I never wanted to kill her.' I told myself.

Me and Akaza arrived at my temple. I wasn't ready to face my people without knowing when Y/n would return to us.

Akaza ended up coming inside with me to talk. Probably was going to scold his superior for his stupid mistake. Surprise surprise his superior is me.

Even with Akaza being older than I, I was still stronger than him. Whether he liked it or not, he couldn't beat me which is probably why he is not a huge fan of me.

We went into my room and took a seat on the pillows I had on the floor in front of a table. It was a medium sized table, enough room for 2 people to enjoy some tea.

Y/n and I would always do that after her training. I would make her tea and she would force me to try it every time. I sat on my knees so I could clutch onto my baggy pants. I know she's not dead, but maybe I would rather death than her hate me.

Akaza looked at me like he had nothing to say to me. Right now he pitied me. He averted his gaze from mine, only once our eyes met.

Finally finding the right words he spoke only my name at first. Then he continued on, "Douma.... Y/n will come back to us. She wouldn't betray us. We know how strong her hatred is for them. She is doing this all for us. For you even."

I stared down at my legs. Holding onto my pants harder. My pale hands turned red as I tightened my grip more and more.

Akaza made a noise to grab my attention once again. I looked at him lost for words. Everything I did was for Y/n. I wanted to protect her not scare her away from me.

"Douma, stop with that stupid look. You look absolutely pathetic and weak right now. This isn't the Douma I'm used to. Where's your dumbass jokes and you making fun of everything I say and do." Akaza said, having trouble putting words together.

I knew this was out of character for Akaza, I appreciated him a lot for what he was doing for me. Comforting me while Y/n isn't here to help me.

"I'm worried, Akaza. What if I hurt her and scared her enough that she resents me and never wants to see me again. What if I ruined the whole mission. The bond we had." I stopped after my last statement. Bond.. that word kept replaying in my head.

Akaza looked shocked at my words just as much as me. I had no more words and neither did Akaza.

It was silent in my temple for a few minutes before Azaka stood up and just left. He didn't speak of where he was headed. And to be fair I didn't care.

I ended up smashing the table in-front of me by just hitting my balled up fists on it. I threw one of the ends at the wall, making a hole in the wall.

"DAMN IT! WHY MUST I BE SO STUPID!" I smashed my room to pieces cursing myself the whole time. It was just like last time.. I almost killed her just like...I swallowed the lump in my throat. Just thinking about it was enough to upset me.

I went out of my destroyed room and saw some of my followers in the dining room. "Master Douma! We heard some ruckus. Is everything ok?" One of the men asked.

My face was dark. I took out one of my fans and murdered all of them. One by one everyone in the dining room was full of there own blood.

I licked the blood off my fan before moving on to all the other rooms in my temple. I went into every room killing anyone and everyone in my huge temple.

I ended up on the roof of my temple, snacking on some of the flesh from my people. The winter air hit my face and blew my baggy clothes all over the place.

I soon felt my cheeks grow warm. I felt something sliding down my cheek. I put my bloody hand to my face and felt my face was wet. 'Was I crying..?'

I remember Y/n crying whenever she was in pain or upset. Is this what if feels like to be upset? I wiped my eyes of these tears, however they just kept coming.

They were very annoying, it felt weird to cry. It was something I wasn't used to at all. I threw the remaining flesh down in the snow, standing up and heading back inside.

My temple was full of blood and broken furniture. My temper had gotten to me and I went on a killing spree. At least my people were happy to die by my hands. At least some of them were.

I washed the blood off my face and hands in a bucket of water before heading out of my temple. I couldn't stand being in the temple by myself.

I walked through the cold snow looking at the many spots me and Y/n used to train. Some rope laid in the snow that help demons still for her to kill. And some dummy's laid in the snow, barley visible.

I never realized how far she came. She was pathetic at first, I won't lie. Now though, she was strong. She doesn't need me to protect her. She knows how to use a sword efficiently and effectively.

I smiled at our old training area before walking off into the distance towards the place Daki and Gyutaro said they were staying.

I needed to clear my head before I end up killing everyone in existence.