I Never Thought

Chapter 38

It all started to make sense now. Chris wasn't just a sour brother, he was genuinely hurt because a promise that was made to him was broken in vain. The whole conversation that we had at Liam's July Fourth party last year slowly began coming back to me, and along with the foggy details, also came guilt.

I couldn't seem to close my mouth nor focus my vision on anything other than his clearly angry face, and the only sound I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears due to the silence that filled the air. He wasn't talking anymore, and I didn't know what to say.

Finally, his eyes softened just the slightest, probably from realizing that I actually did forget the promise due to the drunken state that I was in. I hoped that it began occurring to him that I didn't break it knowingly like he thought I did.

"How could you just completely forget that you promised me that?" he asked, barely any sound to his voice. "Are you sure that you didn't have any recollection of the conversation that we had? Or did you just go ahead and touch my sister despite vowing to me that you wouldn't?"

"Chris, I swear. I completely forgot that conversation right after we had it." When he sighed and dropped his arms to his side, I continued. "I know that sounds insensitive considering that you were in such a vulnerable situation, but I really did forget."

Not saying anything else, he shook his head in disappointment. I stood to my feet and walked to stand in front of him. "Listen man, I was pumped with adrenaline and had three glasses of liquor. You could've chosen a better time to have that conversation with me."

"You don't think I know that now?" He eyed me wearily. "If I knew that you were going to end up doing this anyway, I would've probably threatened you instead of making you do something as soft as making a promise to me."

I ran my hand down my face. "Threaten me? Okay, sure. But again, I was intoxicated. I really wouldn't have done it if I remembered."

As much as it felt like my heart was hit with a hammer and was shattered to pieces, I was speaking nothing but the truth. Chloe was more than amazing, she was what I had always wanted; her calm, beautiful spirit, the softness of her personality, the way she loved and was passionate about her love for people. I had loved her for years, wanting so badly to be at the receiving end of her love and passion. I was so close, so close to making her fully mine. I should have known that it was too good to be true; to have such perfection, an angel placed so easily into my arms without a catch. I was beginning to just say fuck it to the circumstances and just scoop her up, to ask for her hand, but what was I kidding?

The odds were against us. We couldn't be together, we knew for a fact that our worlds would collide if that were to ever end up happening, but I was okay with that. She was worth it all, even though her family would do anything to rip us apart, her love was worth more to me than to be on the good side of her parents. I barely saw them anyway.

As I stood across from my best friend, feeling the burn of his pained and displeased stare, seeing the way his head shook from side to side in disappointment, I knew. I knew that I couldn't do it to him. I couldn't just go ahead and break his promise again, now that he knew that I was aware of it, that I actually knew of it. If I so much as kiss Chloe again, I would be breaking his promise once more. I wasn't a saint at all, but I knew for certain one thing about myself; I never broke promises. They were words of virtue, of acceptance and respect to the person it was made to. I wasn't one to go against morals, to disrespect the people I loved. I couldn't do it, not to Christian.

"How do I know that you're not lying about forgetting?" He finally broke the stare that he had lingering on me for what felt like forever.

"I'm not. Why would I lie to you about that?"