✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

12 - If You Want Love

Heeseung's POV

The feeling of Y/N's lips against my cheek sends me to a whole other world. I've never been kissed on the cheek by any woman I took out or slept with, especially not in such an unexpected and genuine way. It leaves me pleasantly surprised and yearning for more. 

But for a moment, I'm back to being a child when my mother used to kiss my cheek and tell me that everything would be okay, that I was the best son she'd ever ask for, and that she'd never leave my side.

I swallow hard, trying not to think of the past because the last thing I want is to let Y/N read through me like an open book so I smile and pull her closer. "Your service is indeed nothing I've seen before, you know, all those insults and rejections. You're a breath of fresh air." For some reason, I wanted to do something to make her see that I'm not totally an asshole and I can be genuine and caring too. But not everyone can see that side of me.

"That might get me a raise so thank you. I mean it." The smile on her lips and eyes makes me somehow glad that I decided to say something nice. She tilts her head slightly, her eyes studying me intently. Goddamn, they're the most beautiful shade of brown I've ever seen.

"Come on." I open the door for her and she smiles, her hand in mine while I help her get inside. The way the black fabric lays on her curves is such a sight to sore eyes, and I gulp when she slightly bends to go into the car. 

As much as I hate myself for it, I picture her bending over my desk and damn, I'd pay millions- no, billions to see it. Except Y/N is not an easy fantasy. She makes herself seem so expensive that nothing in the world could afford her, and that's what makes me want and crave her even more.

Jake smiles at her from the rearview mirror and her face lights up even in the dim glow of the car's interior. Somehow the two of them just click. The way she speaks to me and the way she speaks to Jake is obviously so different, and I don't know if it's a good contrast or not. He's a good guy, loyal and so out of the drama that I want to be like him, but I guess I was born for a life like mine. One of trauma and fake smiles.

"What's wrong?" Her voice is a melody to my ears and I look back at her, her eyes betraying worry. How can I tell her that I want to fuck her but at the same time I want to protect her from the chaos that resides in me? The words get caught up in my throat and instead of saying anything, I reach for her hand and hold it while we silently stare at each other. 

Her perfume makes me feel as though I'm transported to a world of pure indulgence, where only the most luxurious and elegant scents existed. It's a smell I can't resist and one that makes me feel intoxicated, almost drunk on the allure of Y/N who's sitting right by my side.

Before realizing it, I find myself leaning closer to her to smell the perfume better. "Hypnotic poison," I whisper, looking at her when she pauses, her eyes locked with mine. "The perfume. It suits you." There's a brief silence and I can almost hear her heart racing inside her chest. It's good to know that she feels just as I feel.

"Thanks. It's one of my favorites." She says, still looking into my eyes. "I wear it on days when I want to feel a little bolder." Her words make me cock my eyebrow and smile, impressed by her subtle flirting. The perfume is definitely working.

When I look away and at the rearview mirror, Jake is already staring at me and I roll my eyes, the corners of my mouth never going down. I'm not used to smiling, but whenever I'm around Y/N, I find myself enjoying her company more and more. It scares me, the way she brings out sides of me I've been hiding for so many years. I can't tell if she's naive or just pretends it, but getting attached to people was never my thing anyways. I'm only playing.

That's what I tell myself whenever our eyes meet and she smiles at me. And whenever my heart skips a beat, the warmth spreads through my chest. But deep down, I'm a very bad liar.