✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

41 - Beautiful When You Cry

Y/N's POV

Sunoo was my best friend. He's the kind of person to remind you of oversized flannels, baggy jeans, and messy hair. I loved that about him, he was effortlessly cool and the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. He had the ability to make me feel seen and he'd go out of his way to brighten my day whether that be cracking a joke about how he looked like he just rolled out of bed or surprising me with my favorite treat when I least expected it.

He felt like adventure and freedom rolled into one. He was hungry for the unknown and new experiences. While others hurried through life, Sunoo would pause to appreciate the way the sunlight filtered through the trees or the sound of rain on a rooftop. He taught me to slow down. Yet here I am, racing through our memories together while standing across from him.

His humor was like a ray of sunshine, brightening my world and reminding me not to take life too seriously. But now it feels like he's sucking his teeth into me, bleeding me dry of everything I once knew about happiness. And I just realize how naive I am to believe that things would always remain the same between us. People change, and sometimes friendships change too. But that doesn't make it any less painful.

Heeseung pulls me away with him, my shoulders slumping as I allow myself to be led down a dimly lit hallway. My mind races, replaying memories like a broken film reel. "Y/N." He calls my name when we come to a stop, his voice so gentle as if it'd break me. Then he pulls me into his embrace and I just stand there, my arms resting against his back as I try to process everything. Then reality hits me so hard that I clutch his shirt tightly, feeling a desperate longing for the way things used to be. "I'm sorry, love. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Tears well up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I struggle to find the right words, the right response. But I can't, because sobs rack my body, making it hard for me to breathe, let alone speak.

I ask myself how did things come to this point? How did the laughter turn into this overwhelming pain? But deep down, I know it's not just about one moment or one reason. It feels like all those times when he slept through movies and only woke up during the ending credits, asking me why I didn't wake him up. I tried, but he should have stayed up because of me. Now again, he just woke up but our movie is about to end.

Heeseung's embrace is warm and comforting, letting me sink into the safety of his arms. He holds me when I tremble, taking in all my broken pieces. "Thank you." The sobs gradually subside and I manage to regain control over my trembling body. Loosening my grip on his shirt, my hands find their way to his chest, his heartbeat echoing against my fingertips. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" He gently holds my chin and makes me look at him. "If anyone should be sorry, it's him. I'm fighting the urge to go break his knees for the bullshit he told you because he's your friend. But you don't have to apologize for anything, Y/N."

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes tracing the worry etched on his face. Can this man, who feels my pain and would do anything to protect me, ever toss me away as Sunoo said? The lingering doubts that his hurtful words had planted within me made me question my worth, and my ability to be loved unconditionally. Would Heeseung ever abandon me when I need him the most?

"I can see the doubt in your eyes, Y/N," His words trail off when he reads the fear etched in my expression. "Please, never doubt for a second that I would turn my back on you. Not you, Y/N, not when you're the person who holds my heart and fills my world with light." His thumb gently brushes away a tear that escapes down my cheek, and I feel like I could melt into his touch. His love has never been conditional, and he reminds me of that truth with every touch, every word he speaks.

"I'm scared," I admit, my voice barely a whisper. "And it's hard to confront the reality that the person who's supposed to love you can be the same person to hurt you and open your deepest wounds."

"I know it's difficult," He whispers against my hair, making my heart skip a beat with the warmth of his breath. "But I promise you, with every fiber of my being, that I will never be the one to break your trust."

"I believe that," I say softly, my fingers curling gently around his shirt. "You're the only one who has ever made me feel safe." I picture little Y/N standing at the door of the school, watching the other kids either get in cars with their parents or walk hand in hand with them. My heart aches as I remember those lonely moments from my childhood. If only I can go back in time and tell her that she won't always feel alone. That someday she will find someone who will bring light into her life, someone who will protect her and make her feel safe. That he will come into her life and love her unconditionally. That if a tear ever escapes her eyes, he'd be better to wipe it off, rewriting the painful chapters of her life with love.

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look even when you cry?" I look up at him, surprised by his words, and find myself staring at a warmth that melts away my fears and doubts. With him, I feel like I can be myself, even in my most vulnerable moments.

"No one has ever said that to me before."

"You are beautiful," He says, his thumb gently stroking my cheek as he cups my face. "Every part of you is beautiful, even the tears that fall from your eyes. They only make you more real, more human." His words resonate deep within me, and for the first time, I begin to see myself through his eyes. I'm not the little girl that had no one anymore, instead, I am a reflection of the love and light that he sees in me. He brushes his lips against my forehead, his touch a gentle caress. "You're my woman, Y/N, and I love you. All of you."

His words wash away any self-doubt that lingers within me. Because at the end of it all, I'm simply his and that's enough.