✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

25 - Mercy

Heeseung's POV

I never found work boring. In fact, it has always been the one thing I could do to take my mind off things. That, or fucking someone. It's a way to release all the pent-up tension and stress that I tend to be carrying around. They're the two things that keep me sane, yet since that one day I met Y/N, nothing does its job anymore. It's been two hours since she stormed out of the office, leaving me like a lost puppy. I can't focus on work, and the thought of sex with anyone else seems unappealing. I hate the way she makes me feel so weak and vulnerable like my life depends on her. It's a feeling that I'm not used to, and it's unsettling. I've always been in control of my emotions and my life, but with Y/N, I feel like I'm at her mercy.

Part of me wants to push her away, to distance myself from this overwhelming attraction. But another part of me wants her so bad it fucking annoys me. I've always been a player, but now this feels like a dangerous game and I'm not sure if I can continue playing.

I know I fucked up when I told her all that bullshit, but everything seems to take a toll on me. I can't stop replaying the scene in my head, the way she looked at me with those hurt and angry eyes. Those piercing brown orbs that pull me in and leave me breathless. 

I lean against the chair and throw my head back, closing my eyes and hoping for time to stop. Why is everything so fucked up? Knowing that Je Chul is sick makes me feel so fucking anxious. He's the only person who gets me and the thought of losing him makes me feel like I'm losing a part of myself. I don't know how I'm going to handle it if something happens to him.

I still remember the first day we met. The orphanage was never home to me, although it was for many other kids. People would come and watch us as if we were exhibits in a museum, but they never seemed to truly see us until he came along. He was intimidating, but his gaze held some comfort I never found in my father's eyes.

Je Chul is part of a charity association, they visit the orphanage I grew up in every year. I had to see him every year until I was eighteen. Until he helped me get on my feet. He's someone I can never be grateful enough to. The only one who makes me believe that there's still some good in this cruel world. Along with Y/N.

My phone rings and my thoughts break into shattered pieces, making me sigh heavily before I pick up the phone. The letter K appears in bold and I answer. "What?" Jake is an almost-friend because deep down, I know that once I give him the title, it will all make me recall the first friend I ever had, and instead of being nostalgic, I want to shoot him.

"Aren't you supposed to go back home, Mr. Lee?" I look at the time, confused. But then it hits me that it's really time to leave. Just how much time did I spend thinking about Y/N?

"I'll be there in five minutes." I stand up to wear my suit and get ready. "We're going to visit Je Chul."

"Okay. Y/N is here as well so-"

"I told you not to tell him-"

"See you." Then he hangs up, making me stand there with the phone glued to my ear, not really knowing what was going on. I clearly heard her voice, didn't she go back home already? I walk out of the office and down the stairs and before I know it, I'm outside the building. Jake pulls up in my car but all my attention turns to the woman sitting inside. When I open the door and look inside, she's staring away and out the window at her side. "Took you long enough," Jake mutters but I keep looking at her. I know damn well she can feel my gaze on her but she won't look back. I clench my jaw and look away. "Any news about Je Chul?"

"He's only getting worse." I hear myself say before I sigh, feeling the stress building up inside of me. I can feel Y/N's eyes on me and when I look back at her, they're filled with something I can't quite put my finger on. "What?" I ask, my voice sharp, making her look away, her shoulders slumped.