✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

26 - Power Over Me

Heeseung's POV

I stand in front of Je Chul's grave with my head down low and my heart sinking to the ground. The weight of my grief feels heavy, almost suffocating, but I don't cry. No tear falls down my eyes but it's all eating me inside. The guilt, the pain, the weight of losing him... everything is reminding me that the tomorrow I thought I'd have never come and will never do. The memories of our time together come flooding back. The laughter, the joy, and everything we shared seem like distant echoes in a place where happiness cannot penetrate. I find myself asking why him, why now, why me? But there are no answers to these questions, no solace in the silence of the graveyard. And the emptiness in my chest feels like a gaping hole that can never be filled.

Y/N and Jake stand beside me, her head on his chest as she cries. I want to tell her that it's not her fault because I know she feels as guilty as I do, but my mind is consumed by memories of Je Chul, memories of a life that once was, and a future that will never be.

My throat feels tight, and my chest is heavy with everything I can't scream and let out. Everyone is here, but not one sound can be heard. Maybe if I close my eyes, I might convince myself I'm alone. Je Chul was a good man, and I hate the way only hypocrites are here. They're acting as if they're wounded by his loss but it's all just a show. And half of them are already thinking about who's going to be the next chairman.

"Sorry for your loss." Derek's voice is the last thing I want to hear, and he's the last thing I want to see. His words are laced with sarcasm and pity that it drives me crazy. I can beat the shit out of him right now, right here, but is that what matters now? I take a deep breath and try to compose myself, knowing that Je Chul wouldn't want me to cause a scene.

When I look over at Y/N, her eyes are already on me. They're filled with sadness and regret, and I know she's blaming herself for what happened. It's not her fault, none of us could have predicted this, that's what I want to tell her but the words won't come out. All I can think about is how I want to strangle Je Chul's doctor for not letting me see him one last time. But then again, I'm only trying to blame someone because I can't really blame anyone.

I watch while she approaches me, her steps hesitant. She's dressed in black, my favorite color of all, yet it doesn't seem to do anything to me. I can't take my gaze off her eyes, but they're so full of pain and self-blame that it breaks my heart even more. "I'm sorry." I can barely hear her voice and yet, I can feel the pain and sorrow in every word.

"It's not your-"

"Heeseung?" Evelyn's voice makes me stop in my tracks. I turn to see her walking toward us with a bitter smile on her face. She slowly wraps her arms around me and I just stand there, allowing her. I would have pushed her away, but I know she's not here for the show. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

I nod, feeling numb. The scene reminds me of when my mother passed away because Evelyn was there as well. I'm going back to that day, the same exact day when I had to learn to let go the hard way. My father was not even at the funeral, and I know that it was for the better, but my mother deserved so much more. She deserved someone to love her for the way she is. Someone who'd sit by her grave until the sunset, whispering sweet memories and heartfelt thoughts into the gentle breeze. And Je Chul deserves people who'd love him genuinely, rather than all these people standing around his grave right now. They're pretending to care while secretly enjoying the drama of it all. They don't deserve to mourn for him.

"Hello." Evelyn greets Y/N and when I'm about to stop her, she smiles at her. "You're Heeseung's assistant, right? He told me a lot about you." Lies. I've only told her bits and pieces about a woman that's driving me crazy, but I've never mentioned a name.

"Evelyn." My voice is firm yet she just tilts her head and looks at me in disbelief. I grab her hand and pull her with me, but not before I turn to Y/N whose eyes never leave us. "Stay with Jake. Evelyn and I need to talk."

We start walking away from the crowd, and I can feel Y/N's eyes on us. I know I have some explaining to do, but right now, all I want to do is get away from the chaos of the place. "So you love her."

"Love?" The word comes out shaky as if the mere mention of it could shatter me into a million pieces. It's a question I've been trying to avoid, even from myself.

"Yes. Love." Evelyn's eyes are intense as she looks at me and the only thing I want to do is disappear. She has always managed to see through me, and I've always hated how she could read me like an open book. But she's the only one that gets everything without me saying anything.

"I don't know what I feel for her. It's complicated."

"Complicated?" She raises an eyebrow. "Heeseung, you look at her as if she's your whole world. I've seen pictures of you two. People are already speculating about your relationship. And the way you talk about her. How is that complicated?"

"It just is." I shake my head, not wanting to dive into the depths of my feelings for her. "It's not like we can be together anyway. We come from different worlds. She's so full of joy and all I am is some broken pieces trying to fit together again but they never do. I can't love her."

"You can't keep running away from it. You know that you can't live with fear if you want to fall in love, right?" I know. I've been so focused on protecting myself that I forgot that love requires taking risks. The idea of letting someone in, of opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt again, scares me more than anything. But maybe, just maybe, Y/N is worth it.

"You know exactly what to say, Ev," I mutter and her eyes slightly widen. It's been a while since I last called her by this nickname. She's right. She's always been. Y/N deserves to know where she stands with me. The thought replays in my mind all along until I step inside the conference room, heads turning as I walk to my seat. Not my usual one, because things are going to be different from now on.

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice ticks me off, but I'm pleased he'll never get what he wants. "It's not time for your childish tricks, Heeseung."

"That's not how you're supposed to talk to the chairman, Cummings, isn't it?" He's taken off guard and I love the way his eyes are about to explode. But my gaze shifts to Y/N who's sitting in the corner, the woman who makes me lose my breath and my mind. Her eyes are slightly red when she looks at me for a brief moment, and it's enough to break my heart.

"What are you talking about?" His face turns white as a sheet. He had always assumed that he would be the next chairman, but he's about to be ousted from his imaginary position.

I take a deep breath and straighten my tie, trying to ignore the knot in my stomach before I toss him the documents about Je Chul's Will. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow before he starts reading it. "It clearly states that Je Chul wanted me to be his successor, and I, Lee Heeseung, intend to honor his wishes." There's a collective gasp from everyone in the room as they read the will, and some whispering starts. But my attention is solely focused on Y/N who's now staring at me in confusion. Jesus Christ, woman, stop looking at me with those eyes.

"You were planning on going to the head office, you can't seriously expect anyone here to believe this nonsense. How dare you sit there and act all arrogant and smug and think you could become chairman when you're not even committed to the company?"

I glance over at Y/N, who is now looking down at her hands in her lap, avoiding eye contact with me. I know what this means - I can't become chairman if people think I'm potentially leaving the company for a better opportunity. "I assure you that I am fully committed to this company. My marriage and my home are here, and I have no plans to leave." That's what it takes for Y/N to raise her head and meet my eyes. She frowns, her eyes slightly widening. I feel a pang of guilt for dragging her into this mess, but there's no turning back now. "I would like to introduce Baek Y/N, my assistant, and my wife."

The room falls silent while I stare at Y/N, her lips parted and her eyes wide open as she processes my announcement. I hate putting her in such a position, but the thought of marrying anyone else fills me with dread. And that makes me realize that no matter how much I deny it, deep down, I know my heart belongs to Y/N.