✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

21 - Minefields

Y/N's POV

A whole week had passed since what happened with Heeseung. I've been thinking about it nonstop, how he clutched onto me and cried his heart out, and how he shook in my arms that all I wanted was to protect him from whatever that was making him feel that way. But he's been so distant I'm starting to worry. I did think that he was an asshole, and whenever he opened his mouth, he proved it right. But him not speaking to me - unless completely necessary - for a whole week is making me frustrated. The rides are so silent and awkward that Jake ends up asking what's wrong between the two of us.

"I had a stressful day." His answer is always the same but it doesn't quite explain the change in his behavior. I know he's trying to avoid talking about his panic attacks and emotional breakdown from that day.

Jake is not the one driving today since he had something urgent to take care of, so I'm stuck with Heeseung who seems to not want me here in the first place. But it's also my chance to talk to him about whatever's going on. So, when he stops in front of my house, I decide to take a deep breath and break the silence. "Can we talk?"

He turns his head slightly toward me but still avoids eye contact. "About what?" His voice is so flat I can't tell what he's feeling.

"About the way you're being so distant." I watch him let out a sigh and lean back in his seat, his fingers running through his hair. "Since the day you-"

"I appreciate that you were there... but it doesn't change anything between us." My heart sinks at his words and I frown. I'm already frustrated because he doesn't even look at me but this rejection stings even more.

"What do you mean it doesn't change anything? You were hurting, and I was there for you. That should mean something." I can't believe he's dismissing everything just like that. What happened that day wasn't nothing, he's hurting deep down and fighting his demons yet wants me to believe that he's okay and he doesn't need help.

Heeseung avoids my eyes again, his jaw clenching. "It was a one-time thing, just like everything we did. I hope you don't think we're friends or something."

"I never said we were suddenly friends. But I thought we could at least be civil with each other, instead of ignoring each other like we are now." For a split second, he looks at me. Our eyes meet and he looks away, but I can catch a glimpse of hurt and fear in his eyes.

"Go away, Y/N." His words cut me deep, making me feel like I've been slapped across the face.

"Why are you shutting me out?" I don't intend to raise my voice at him, but he's making me so annoyed I want to shake some sense into him. "If something is wrong or you need help-"

"Help?" He scoffs, pain evident in his eyes. He does need help, but he would never admit it. "I don't need help, especially not yours." I watch him clench his fists, his body tense with emotions he's struggling to suppress.

"Oh yeah?" I open the door and get out, biting my bottom lip. "Well, I don't give a fuck about you, Heeseung. You can hurt for all I care. You just can't let anyone into that cold heart of yours." I can feel his gaze on me while I slam the door behind me and walk away, but I refuse to look at him. Let him feel how he made me feel this whole week. The fact that I'm not seeing him for two days is making me feel at ease because I really don't want to see him until I'm not annoyed anymore. I don't even know when that will happen.

When I step inside the house, Mom is not there. There's a note left on the fridge and I put down my bag and rush towards it. I'll be staying with Clarissa. Take care.

Clarissa is my mom's best friend. She's a single mother of two kids, and maybe that's why Mom understands her better than anyone. They're so close people mistake them for sisters, and it comforts me because even if her family left her, she has someone close to being her family. Other than me.