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Thank You (Arizona)

'Hi!' A woman comes over to me. She's wearing a white coat with a monkey toy attached to it, and she's absolutely gorgeous. 'I'm Dr.Robbins. The new pediatric attending. I was hoping you could tell me where Y/n L/n is?' Dr. Robbins asks. 'I'm Y/n. It's nice to meet you.' I put out my hand and she shakes it. 'Its nice to meet you too.' As we walk, she talks to me, asking me questions about the case, and if I'm interested in Paediatrics, which I am.

After the tiring day we've had together she comes up to me when I'm sitting on a bench, trying not to fall asleep. 'Hey! You know, you'd be good in Peds. I might even get you a pair of wheelie sneaks like my own.' I laugh. 'Thanks.' I say. She sits next to me. 'Waiting for someone?' She asks. 'Just tired.' I respond. So she sits with me.

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'Y/n, I need your help!' Arizona calls out. I follow her to voice to her bedroom. 'So, Callie asked me out and I need something to wear. Will you help me, please?' I hesitate before agreeing. 'You okay?' She asks. No. I was going to ask her on a date, I have a major crush on her. 'Yeah. I like the blue, but red makes your eyes stand out. Do pink eyeshadow as well, it'll pop with your skin tone.' I tell her. 'Huh. Okay, thanks!' I nod and leave her to get changed.

Later as I'm walking to the Peds ward, Chief Hunt stops me. 'L/n, you are on Ortho with Torres today.' I begin to complain but he continues. 'You need a well balanced education. Ortho, now.' I roll my eyes and find Callie in the ER with a patient.

After I've finished 18 hours worth of surgery with Dr. Torres, I'm drinking a coffee and talking to Cristina. 'Hey!' Arizona shakes my shoulders. 'I'm going now, but Ill be back by 1 or 2.' She informs me. I stop myself from rolling my eyes and I smile. 'Okay, bye!' She waves and walks away. 'Seriously? You need to tell her! If you don't I will kill you.' Cristina says. 'Fine, I'll try.'

Later that night Arizona returns. 'How was it?' I ask. 'It was great, she's so funny and kind and-' She stops when I roll my eyes. 'Okay, what is with you? You've been like this all day!' And for the first time, I look at her. I really look at her. I see her piercing blue eyes paired with the dress I helped her pick out earlier that day. I see her skin tone and her eyeshadow that I chose, and I wonder how it hasn't clocked in her brain yet. 'I want you! I love you, Arizona. I have loved you since the day you came up to me on the wheelie skates and asked where I was. I love you.' She sits there, her mouth gaped open slightly. 'Please say something so I haven't scared you off.' I practically beg, looking away nervously. 'Yes.' She finally says. 'What?' I look back over to her. 'Yes! It took you that long? I love you too! Of course I do, otherwise I wouldn't have moved in here!' And suddenly I'm pulled closer to her and our lips are colliding in a seal for the rest of our lives.

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'Dr. L/n?' Jo Wilson walks over to me. 'My baby has a low battery light and nobody can find Dr. Robbins or Dr. Boswell.' I sigh. This is the last thing I needed during a storm. 'Okay, get the other interns quickly.' She's gone a minute while I think. No one can find Arizona, or Lauren. The interns are back. 'Wilson, when her light goes out, you walk over and casually change her to an Ambu. The rest of you will do the same when your childrens lights go out. Keep the parents happy and calm, okay? And tell Karev to go look for spare batteries.' I realise the flaw; there are 12 babies and 6 people here.

Eventually Arizona comes back. 'Where were you?' I ask exasperatedly. 'Looking for spare batteries.' She says, her eyes darting around the room. 'Oh. Okay, cool.' I ignore her suspicious actions and focus on the baby that I'm currently keeping breathing.

Then Boswell comes over to me, she says hi and asks for instructions, which I give her. She walks over to Arizona and begins talking loudly enough so I can hear. 'If you did it you don't love her that much.' I hear her say. 'I love her more than anything, it was stupid and senseless-' I stop listening when it clicks. She slept with Boswell. Arizona sees my face and we exchange a look. Hers of guilt and pleading, mine of pain and anger. I talk to the babies mother and teach her how to use the bag, before teaching the rest of the parents. Then I hide in an on call room.

'Y/n! Please, I will do anything for you, anything.' Arizona barges in begging. 'But the ending will always stay the same. There's no reason in pretending that we could ever be together again. I'm letting you go.' I say, letting tears fall. 'Please hold on. I- I want you to hold on.' I shake my head. 'I cant. I can't be anything to you, and if you want to fall in love with somebody, I can't hold on.' I say hoarsely. 'Somebody thats not me.' I add. She looks down.

'Why did you do it?' I ask
'Please, Y/n it was stupid and I would never do it again. I couldnt, I love you too much.'
'But why? I mean- I thought we were okay.'
'We were. We are. Please, Y/n. I love you. You love me.' She says, and I realise that I do. I love her so much but I can't trust her. I cant stay with her if I can't trust her. 'You're right, Arizona. I fell in love with you, and I do love you. But I love you so much that if I stay, it will destroy me. You will hurt me enough that it will tear me apart.' I can see in her eyes that she's crying, but nowhere else. Her face stays so still when she cries. Nothing moves except for her eyes and her lips stretching in an effort to avoid making noise. 'Don't cry. This is what's best for both of us. You don't see it now, but you will.'

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I was right. A few months later I had a job as a trauma surgeon in California. And on my last day before I was supposed to leave, Arizona approached me.

We had spoken since the divorce, but not for anything other than a patient, and not for longer than two minutes at a time. We weren't friends- not by a long shot. But we were civil, and we could work together when needed.

'Hey!' She had said to me. 'Hi. How are you?' I say kindly. In my hands is a box of my belongings from the lounge and the ER. 'I wanted to say goodbye. I know I hurt you, and I know you hate me. But you're leaving. So goodbye.' She smiles. 'I never hated you. I never once hated you. I just knew that if we stayed together we wouldn't have survived.' I explain. I've thought it over a lot in the last few months, and never once have I doubted it. We just wouldn't have worked. 'I know that now, and I'm sorry for thinking you were wrong.' I look over at the clock. 'I have a cab waiting for me. Goodbye, Arizona. Thank you, for everything.' She's close enough for a handshake, but I hug her. I wrap one arm around her, and hold the box in the other. 'Thank you,' She whispers. 'For letting me love you.'