The Razor's Edge [[Feitan x Reader]]

37: The Open House

"Shut up. Breathing too loud."

"I'm breathing too loud? Listen here you little punk, I'll—"

After Hisoka left, Shalnark told the troupe that we needed to plan more missions. Even though Hisoka was the one in contact with the exorcist, we were still the ones paying him to release Chrollo from the chain user's conditions. So, a few days later we set a plan in motion to steal from some millionaire who lived on the outskirts of the city. He was hosting an open house at his mansion, which was currently listed on the market for more money than i'd ever seen in my life.

Shal sent the three of us in to scout it out. Phinks and I had posed as a wealthy couple looking to buy property in Yorknew while Feitan broke in upstairs and started searching for a safe or any easy valuables to snag. I was surprised at how easily Phinks got into character pretending to be my husband, guiding me through the house with a hand on my lower back or giving me subtle touches every time he passed by me. It was such expert work that even I was starting to feel convinced.

Once Phinks had gotten his fill of the complimentary spread laid out by the realtor, we broke away from the rest of the open house group and snuck upstairs to find Fei and wait for everyone to leave.

The three of us were hiding in a small crawl space in one of the spare bedrooms. We figured that no one would really look in there during their tour of the home.

"Not afraid of you."

"Well, you should be. I'll send your ass back to Munchkinland if you don't watch it."

"Will you shut up?" I hissed. "You're acting like a couple of idiots. If you ruin this mission for us then i'll have to kick both of your asses."

Phinks scoffed. "Please, I'd have you on the ground in seconds."

"Touch her and you die," Feitan threatened, his gaze wild.

Phinks reared on him. "Jesus, what the hell is your problem, man?"

Feitan clearly hadn't appreciated that Shalnark chose Phinks to be my fake husband. The thing was, we needed to blend in. Feitan's presence might have come off as too intimidating or unsettling. Plus, even though Feitan and I were actually. . . something—unbeknownst to the rest of the troupe—I wasn't sure he could have convinced everyone at the open house that we were a real couple. PDA didn't really seem to be his thing.

"Enough!" I snapped. "Can't we just try to be quiet while we wait for Shal to give us the all-clear? We don't want anyone to find us."

Phinks shrugged. "We'll just kill anyone who comes up here."

"You wouldn't care about killing Carol? She was really nice."

He hummed, considering it. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Who's Carol?"

"She's the realtor who's hosting the open house."

"I'd kill Carol," Feitan said flatly.

"Well, no one has to kill her if you two can shut up and get along."

They both grumbled.

"Good."

We sat in silence for a moment, listening to the muffled chatter of the people downstairs. It seemed to be dying down.

"Breathing too loud again."

"That's it! You want a piece of me?!"

Phinks's phone started ringing in his pocket. His paused his assault on Feitan to answer it. "Hello? . . . fine." He lowered his phone from his ear, setting it between the three of us before pressing the 'speaker' button.